Baaaaa humbug.

Suggestion for the perfect crime @hunnybunny.Invite whoever it was who ruined your new decor round for Sunday lunch.Take out the frozen leg of lamb from the freezer and bop him on the head with it.Report a fatal accident then put said lamb in the oven and eat the evidence for lunch.Could I suggest asparagus tips,roast…[Read more]

My advice to you lot is to avoid poking bears or dykes.You’ll regret it.https://youtu.be/RDSEtWt9u-A?si=NjdrbAdEv9JzatdO

I worry about you sometimes @desperate-dan.

So sorry to hear about all those blue collar MAGA’s who now feel ‘duped’.What do you think Jason? https://youtu.be/4FM7XeaSO0M?si=PANZCS2v0bNiGvvd

Has she got greyhound blood in her?

Customer Capers No.2

One of my customers has to take her dogs for a walk seperately now after a recent incident involving a squirrel.She said when they saw it she was off her feet being dragged through a freshly ploughed field.She had to let go after her nostrils filled with soil.Yorkshire terriers eh?

If you like The Bradleys you might like this,think I may have played it before but it’s my personal favourite from The  Bottom of the Knees…er sorry..,The Shins.https://youtu.be/jyqWjl7GkCE?si=9yT9NGeQh180cuCT

Customer Capers

One of my customers came out and asked if I’d finished.I said no,since you put that wooden board up to keep your dog in I have to double back to finish the rest of the house.

“Oh” she said”I can take that down now the dog’s gone…and so has the husband!”

After a brief awkward pause I said “I’m sorry  about that.”She said “I’m…[Read more]

A man died when he fell into a giant vat of coffee.His wife said he didn’t suffer-it was instant.

Yeah I know I’ll get me coat…I’ll get yours while I’m at it Dan.Fancy a pint down The Lurkers?

Did you hear about the cross eyed circumcisionist?He got the sac.

Better than Steely Dan tho’.

The harmonies are a little too wispy for my liking and with knife crime in the UK being what it is we shouldn’t be talking about brass stabbings.Comment awaiting moderation unlike this tune https://youtu.be/j8fSymv-5R8?si=48cnWTPK946UL8nD

They also produced early Costello singles before Jake Rivierra stole him including this beauty…https://youtu.be/snPDoXl9ZPs?si=vXbyZSMS1FrEmnS6

Backtracking a little here’s the very first Stiff release…https://youtu.be/YEpr8kaczck?si=tMKGBCEE0MFcFIjJ

Hoe is het met je? @vuelva always glad when you pop out of your wormhole to say hello(I’m afraid I had to google the Dutch greeting)(Ooops is Dutch a word the people of The Netherlands are comfortable with?)

There are quite a few expressions in English pre-fixed by the word Dutch that have negative connotations( uncle for instance-great band but…[Read more]

I have skin like a waxen peel and a face that I can never feel.