Has she got greyhound blood in her?

She once chased a hare. Well, she’s an optimist, I’ll give you that. It was the biggest field I’ve ever been in and also a very big hare. Hare and Twiggy got smaller and smaller until both became specks in the far distance and vanished. After about ten minutes she came back exhausted and wiser. Tactfully I didn’t ask about the hare.

I’m there cheering Twiggy on. I know she hasn’t got the slightest chance of ever catching one.

Customer Capers No.2

One of my customers has to take her dogs for a walk seperately now after a recent incident involving a squirrel.She said when they saw it she was off her feet being dragged through a freshly ploughed field.She had to let go after her nostrils filled with soil.Yorkshire terriers eh?

If you like The Bradleys you might like this,think I may have played it before but it’s my personal favourite from The  Bottom of the Knees…er sorry..,The Shins.https://youtu.be/jyqWjl7GkCE?si=9yT9NGeQh180cuCT

Customer Capers

One of my customers came out and asked if I’d finished.I said no,since you put that wooden board up to keep your dog in I have to double back to finish the rest of the house.

“Oh” she said”I can take that down now the dog’s gone…and so has the husband!”

After a brief awkward pause I said “I’m sorry  about that.”She said “I’m…[Read more]

A man died when he fell into a giant vat of coffee.His wife said he didn’t suffer-it was instant.

Yeah I know I’ll get me coat…I’ll get yours while I’m at it Dan.Fancy a pint down The Lurkers?

Well if you don’t like wispy harmonies, we could go a little heavier. Everyone is turned up to 11 in this one.

What’s the easiest animal to impersonate?

I’m going to stick my neck out and say giraffe.

Progress

Did you hear about the cross eyed circumcisionist?He got the sac.

Progress.

Better than Steely Dan tho’.