Yeah The 5th was great but my covidness means I’ll have to pass on the skinfull and Ukraine bashing.Gives me something to do next weekend.

Dan you ruined my monologue.

Just like old times me talking to myself.I’ll pick a topic.How about Joey Barton?Women’s football?Joey Barton on women’s football?

He does actually have a point about equal pay and I say this purely on economic grounds not as misogynistic dino poo.There is no doubt that the women’s game is gaining in popularity all the time and the revenue it…[Read more]

Apparently there’s a Mr Barton in the Lurkers Lounge asking after someone called Brian. He’s got his mate Gregg with him.

Sorry to hear about the Covid @brianN. I’ve only had it once but do get long Covid symptoms that would completely prevent me from cleaning windows. Very bad upper arm and shoulder weakness. A one or two other things you probably don’t want to know about.

Speaking of not listening to music from this century have you tuned into the Proms yet @hunnybunny or are you still watching old Queen concerts?Beethoven’s 5th on tonight think I’ll give that a whirl.Then out for a skinful and some Ukrainian refugee bashing.Classic Saturday night entertainment.Joey Barton’s all over it.

Has anyone seen a Mr Burn Bag?

Has to be my favourite so far.

Still enjoying Bosch though I don’t think the actor who plays him is as he goes about with a face like a slapped arse most of the time and I think it’s because they make him listen to so much jazz.S1 wasn’t too bad just the odd snatch of Coltrane or Miles while he was at home but things have escalated in S2 as we now hear it in his car as he…[Read more]

As for Joey Barton he’s always been a knobhead and a lot of his nonsense is aimed at his podcast audience.Probably the same people who watch GB News and mill around outside asylum hotels after a skinful on a Saturday night looking for trouble.Although I bet he wishes he hadn’t called Jeremy Vine a ‘bike nonce’ and ‘defender of pedo’s’.Cost him a…[Read more]

Dinosaur dung a paleontologist’s dream.

Bloody covid for the umpteenth time and this time the symptoms are really bad.I’m swallowing broken glass to ease the pain in my throat and it feels like someone keeps inflating a balloon in my head.

Hot toddy and an analgesic for anyone who can remember who uttered the immortal words:

“My brain hurts!”

“Well done to the Lioness winning the Nonsense Pottery Trophy. Those penalties were borderline embarrassing again. Don’t ever ask for equal pay again. Youse are miles off it”

Words of wisdom from Joey Barton, Moronosaurus, leaving his steaming dung again. OB, get a shovel and a bucket.

Hello World.

I swear I’m going to go all Vaughny in a minute.

I see UC is also back @hunnybunny.

The last series has scarcely finished. What a farce.

Seems like the 25/26 football season is underway before the 24/25 one has even finished. What a farce.

There’s a tennis tournament taking place in Bastad just now.Don’t know if he’s playing but something tells me Sinner might do well there.

I  see OC is back @hunnybunny.

Hey Bunny you would never allow this to happen being such a bon viveur but due to an unfortunate series of events all I’ve had for my tea is a mini pork pie and a snickers bar…

I thought you said satire was dead?

There was a footballer called Terry Paine who made over 800 appearances for one club(Southampton).Players in those days weren’t paid over 300k a week so when they retired had to put their savings into buying and running a business and I like to think Terry avoided that ‘Running a pub’ trope and bought a window…[Read more]

But Derbyshire once had an opening batsman (who I once met) called Bowler. There, that destroys the theory completely.

You should be called Paine. That would fit in so many ways.

It’s satire folks.

Apologies.