Fans of Bad Piggies have often asked us this question on Facepork: “What is a ROFLcopter?”
Unfortunately I don’t think we’ve ever answered the question properly in the entire course of our existence, because we are very lazy pigs.
But with nothing much to do right now besides eat and sleep, it would be sacrilege not to sacrifice some precious beauty sleep to document the most awesome flying machine of them all: the ROFLcopter.
In this typically controversial pig-written article we will document the various attributes of a ROFLcopter, which is an incredible flying machine that looked like it took shape in the drawing room of a crazy Victorian gentleman.
Don’t forget to bring your parachute – you’ll need it!
1. This is my ROFLcopter. There are many copters but this one is mine.
No two ROFLcopters are alike. Sick and tired of other pigineers making copies of your ridiculous contraptions? Bored of making “realistic” helicopter designs? Why not add rotors and V8 engines to your office desk and start flying it home? Then it will be your desk turned wacky copter (i.e., ROFLcopter) and no one can claim it as theirs!
2. My ROFLcopter is my life. I must master my ROFLcopter as I must master my life.
ROFLcopters are for those die-hard piglets who would do anything to be different, even at the cost of risking their own ham and bacon.
We recommend you have valid life pig-surance (insurance) coverage. Colossal “Epig Fails” (Epic Fails) are just around the corner.
3. My ROFLcopter without me is useless. I must fly my ROFLcopter better than any other pig.
ROFLcopters are so awesome that aeronautical engineers will shake their heads in awe then stomp out of the room (we think in extreme jealousy) at the mere sight of your ROFLcopter. Like this actually functional V-22 Osprey replica – not a single human being understands how it works!
The point of posting a ROFLcopter on the internet is knowing no one else could possibly fly such a contraption as well as you do, because you neglected to provide any documentation on how to execute any single flight activity without the whole thing crashing and burning like all it wants to do is make you into bacon.
Seriously, just turning on all the engines on the thing is not guaranteed to work. There are components and sub-assemblies configured to only work in certain specialized applications and not to be touched outside said specialized parameters!
Check out the sheer complexity of piloting USS Chris P. Bacon, the Bacon Chair Force’s ROFLcopter exploration ship! (Note: Video has no sound as King Pig ate the sound reel.)
Because only you can fly your ROFLcopter, it is an exclusive machine and you are awesome.
4. All ROFLcopters are equally awesome!
Many denizens of Piggy Island think we in the Pigineering department run around the town at odd hours oinking and squealing forth, “My ROFLcopter is better than yours!” That’s not true. No ROFLcopter is better than another.
All ROFLcopters are created equal, being products of a fertile imagination and the usual need to escape from Angry Bird attack by any means possible. Everyone on Piggy Island is allowed to own and fly personal ROFLcopters, because King Pig never thought to bother complying with FAA regulations. He’s way too lazy for that.
It is quite senseless to have a ROFLcopter building contest and “compete” in building ridiculous aircraft. ROFLcopters being unique instruments of personal awesomeness must be enjoyed as they are, because you built it with your own awesomeness and none shall contest your level of personal awesome.
Like this cargo ROFLcopter air-dropping a vehicle. It’s like a C-130 Hercules, only pigger!
But enough with these ridiculous terms and conditions of ROFLcoptering; let’s enjoy freedom of creative expression here on ABN and build more incredible machines!