Avast me hearties…oh I can’t be bothered. It’s only 0930 and already Talk Like a Pirate Day is starting to be hard work.

Cabbage chips. That might be a thing. I hope it isn’t.

You have to feel sorry for the commentator when the leading protagonists in the women’s 100m at the World Championships* have names like Shelly-Ann Fraser-Pryce and Melissa Jefferson-Wooden.

* or the World Cabbage Chips, according to the BBC sub-titles.

Happy Birthday Twiggy. Six today. Six mile walk in the windy sunshine. Now playing giraffe* in the garden.

*I will spare you the rules.

Oh those poor Rangers and Celtic fans. Been dishing it out for years but they can’t take it themselves.  Stop whining and suck it up. Or support your local team.

300 used to be considered a fantastic score back in the day of the 60 over Gillette Cup. You know, back in the day when Gavaskar scored 36 off 174 balls in the World Cup. India were chasing 334 off 60 overs which was considered impossible.  If Phil Salt had faced 174 balls he would have scored about 430.

I have no insights to add to the melts.

Fell about with One Clavdivs @briann. This will be the forum’s least understood comment of all time and that’s going some.

See Luis Suarez has now got a lengthy ban for spitting. What is wrong with the man? Must have been spitting out bits of ear that he bit off during his three previous biting offences.