Community Chat – A Place for Weary Flingers

[Brian N]

A bad case of Sticky Fingers.

As an errant teenager my one and only night in a police cell was for wazzing in a public place…all over someone’s car…

£10 fine and £5 costs.Those were the days.

[Brian N]

So how did you know Mrs Faithful @desperate-dan?(I can’t imagine a more inaptly named woman).Did you work in her local sweetshop?

[Desperate Dan]

Good thing all this stuff works on two levels.

Barely though.

[Brian N]

That’s never stopped us before,well alright mainly me.Hey wasn’t Brown Sugar on the Sticky Fingers album?That’s all I have etc.

All time top three for wazzing in public:

In at no. 3 Ozzy Osbourne.Finding himself dressed in pink tights and ballerina shoes next to a memorial of The Alamo what else could he do but relieve himself on said memorial.Got him banned from San Antonio for 10 years.Hardly seems like a punishment does it?Apparently Ozzy used to regularly pee himself onstage to save time?!

In at…er…no.2 Freddie Flintoff tapping into the feelings of the nation drained himself in the gardens of 10 Downing St.(A little payback as they’ve been pissing on us for years)

But there can be only one winner,the one and only alex Higgins potting a long green.Yes in the middle of a snooker match takes a pee in a plantpot.He truly was blessed with genius.

[Brian N]

By strange coincidence Higgins was a one time friend of Marianne faithful though knowing her it was probably more than one time.

[Desperate Dan]

I think Paula Radcliffe had a moment in the London Marathon, didn’t she. Only live on national television.

Shall we just move on.

[Brian N]

Commonplace among athletes Dan but yes let’s move on.Must tell you all what one of my customers said on an unrelated matter.Last time I cleaned his windows his wife said they were off to Copenhagen for a few days so on seeing him yesterday I asked how it went and his opening gambit was:” I didn’t see a black face the whole time I was there-it was great!”Immediately following it up by saying”Not that I’m being racist or anything.”!?!

Guess he’s voting Reform.

Anyway sometimes the only way to stay sane in this mad world is to listen to something like this:https://youtu.be/NUnXxh5U25Y?si=74Bi8u6bP1r7zGIP

[Brian N]

I see England’s new cautious approach to batting is paying off.

So the World Cup is just a week away and FIFA’s bloated new format means an endless stream of meaningless group games and an extra round in the knockout stage to ensure 8 3rd placed teams will qualify…er wait Gianni’s just been on the phone…apparently what I meant to say was due to FIFA’s brilliant new extended schedule more of the smaller nations will have a chance to qualify .Why even Scotland might finally get that monkey off their back of never having qualified for the knockout stage of a WC.(Although they’ll probably beat Brazil and lose to Morocco and Haiti knowing them).And who won’t be setting their alarm for 5.00 am to watch Austria v Jordan or same time diff day for Tunisia v Japan?Unmissable.

[Desperate Dan]

FIFA

Promised free water.

No longer.

Free water is dangerous.

What makes water safe?

Charging for it.

At “normal prices”

That will be like the “normal” rail prices then?

But at least it will be safe.

Evil is as evil does.

[Desperate Dan]

I’m running a World Cup competition with my uni maths chums. All you have to do is predict how far each team will get. This means we can get stuck into the thrills of the competition and don’t have to watch any football all.  There are six of us against two AI entries, a completely random entry and one based on how the results would turn out if the national animals of each nation competed against each other. So for example, England v France would be three lions versus a rooster. It turns out quite a lot of countries have lions as their national animal. Or eagles. Or frogs…

[Brian N]

France should have a frog.

FIFA Fund Infantino’s Flagrant Avarice

[Brian N]

Looks like this cautious approach to batting is really catching on.

[Desperate Dan]

Following the post-play interviews I can confirm that the England opening partnership is indeed Ducky and Gay.

[Brian N]

Heh heh.I still hope for the day Phil Salt is joined by fellow opening batsman Michael Pepper in the England ODI team.

[Brian N]

I’m pretty sure Mustard and Onions must have played in the same England team.

[Brian N]

Ah Bargain Hunt at 120 decibels.Yes I’m at me old mum’s.90 y/o and still refusing to get a hearing aid…pardon…

I’m giving the man of the match award to the Lords pitch.

[CodyRoyales]

Jumping in here to say that Ham Em High is getting another massive boost. I’ve taken three or four records. Lost one to Disco but that is fine by me. Glad to see more levels are being pushed to the limit. I believe I’ve found the upper limit on 12-13. Would be impressed to see that record felled.

Well done @discobeaks It seems you’re helping Dan and me on this adventure

[Desperate Dan]

I’m doing my best. It’s hard work. The low-hanging fruit seems to have all been gobbled up. I’m now halfway up a wonky ladder reaching into thin air.

[CodyRoyales]

I see a few levels we all can wither down but Ham Em High is one of the most pushed episodes I feel. The amount of new strats that have been formed this year is insane

[DiscoBeaks]

Thanks!! I’ve definitely been working hard on Ham Em High lately. It’s a cool world to play! It’s satisfying breaking all the wood in those levels.

But in some levels, I still see lots of improvement. A few of the records I got, came to my surprise!

[Desperate Dan]

15th June. Scottish Bank Holiday for the World Cup? Humph. Wales never got one when they qualified for the World Cup last time round. Not too late to backdate it Keir. Oh, apparently it is, the elections have already happened.

[Brian N]

Think I’ve mentioned before the incredibly biased commentary of one Stephen Craigan when working on N.Ireland games.Classic Craigo tonight on the France v N.I. game.

“Why is it when an Irish player goes to ground the ref waves play on but if it’s a French player he automatically stops the game.That’s not a head injury he’s holding his leg!All we’re looking for is consistency.”

When a replay showed said player being elbowed in the face and blood pouring out of his nose he said:”In that case the ref should’ve stopped the game immediately.”

I think I just watch N.I. games waiting for his next pearl of wisdom.

[Desperate Dan]

Maybe all the other referees should go on strike in support of their Somalian colleague.

This is disgusting beyond measure. Many should be hanging their head in shame. FIFA have been trumpeting about how they have been so involved and invested in Africa. Well the US authorities have truly told them where to stick it. Simple FIFA, revoke that Peace Prize.

Yes, I am an Angry Bird.

[Desperate Dan]

Infantino has asked me to not worry about stuff and chill out. In the same way that Brian Moore’s head resembled the London Planetarium (Dickie Davies Eyes, Half Man Half Biscuit), his head satisfyingly resembles the top of the World Cup trophy. Maybe they will parade his head triumphantly around the stadium after the final. I for one, would feel better for that.

 

[Desperate Dan]

The trend continues. As fast as I lose Classics trophies, I am picking up other trophies. I just hope nobody feels an urge to go to Bird Island. Nothing to see there! I am on a mission to overtake @jrsquonk and claim top spot for the episode. Just over 1000 points to go but this is a tough cookie. 31-8 is a mystery. I am 13000 points down and like many others, cannot see how to improve. I think there is a version (which I cannot find) in which both 31-8 and 31-15 play a lot easier. If I could find that I would be a long way ahead. But I have a feeling it’s no longer available.