The Bloated Pig - A Place for Weary Flingers Page 3046
  • 159567 Comments
  • Brian NBrian N
    ... *poof* Still lurking. Thought it would take forever to catch up. You guys r still on page 3045.Shame on you!.
    Nothing you could say would hurt my feelings @kathy. But if you Google 'shortages in the construction industry' you'll realise I wasn't making it up.*poof*
  • ixan57ixan57
    Shame on you @brianN
    Just poofing in for a crown
  • Brian NBrian N
    That was purely coincidental, I thought you'd have been on to your second crown by now. To be truthful I wasn't even lurking I went AWOL, off coms, maintaining radio silence, went dark etc. We were off on a family device free break. So I'm visiting BP for first time today, notice the Lurkers Lounge is busy as usual. "Hi all". Geography corner seems to be thriving."Hi @karen68, @desperatedan and who's that asleep at the back? Oh yeah, say hi to @kathy when she wakes up."And propping up the bar in comedy corner it's @hunnybunny. Might join you later if I can find a lame joke.
    One thing I've noticed, there is no sulkers corner. I think anyone with a sensitive disposition left years ago, can't think why.
  • Brian NBrian N
    Just been reading a great book:Glue through the ages... I couldn't put it down.

    I'll have what ur drinking @hunnybunny.
  • Brian NBrian N
    BTW @desperatedan, tried whistling 'Brickbats'. Think I broke my windpipe.
  • Brian NBrian N
    Thanks for your kind words @catsnbirds. This one's for you & @tompuss.

    https://youtu.be/iULSW3N4O5I
  • Brian NBrian N
    Genius Canadian band. Play LOUD!!!

    https://youtu.be/0ozdCLrTrtA
  • Brian NBrian N
    See Bezos, Musk & Branson are firing rockets into space. It's like a giant 'who' s got the biggest dick' competition. In terms of anthropological shape Bezos has it. That thing even has a Bell End.
  • Brian NBrian N
    Does this mean the end of the billion dollar playboy yacht?
  • Brian NBrian N
    Hey @kathy, I know you're a fan of rich people kicking the poor, What's your take on huge global companies taking the piss out of national tax laws? I'm off to bed now, look forward to hearing from you. X
  • KathyKathy
    Hey @BrianN nice to see you popping in, thought you were in the sulkers lounge, but your right there BP doesn't have a sulkers lounge because we are All happy here:)
    @HunnyBunny keeps us entertained with the Steve and Dave jokes, and whomever happens to be Steves companion, i particularly liked the desert one :D and y'all thought i wasn't paying attention lol.
    Typing in my phone, tablet is charging, had a bit of a controversial night here ,so tablet charging I n the living room, me watching Carnival Row in my bedroom, Dave the Drunk doing whatever Dave the Drunk does whenever he does it ,I assume in the spare bedroom. *sigh* you can't fix stupid", and you "cant make peace with the ignorant "
    TMI? Lol
  • KathyKathy
    Yeah the desert story involved Steves other friend Bob, I'm feeling a coincidence going on here? We'll see who Steve 's next friend is?¿?¿
    My guess it's Scott, but now I've gone and predicted it lol.
    Ever seen Carnival Row ? It's pretty good
    Nighty Night Birdies♡♡
  • KathyKathy
    @BrianN What makes you say im a fan of Rich people kicking the poor? Exactly opposite, I'm not a fan of poor people kicking the rich, ever hear the saying "Dont bite the hand that feeds ya" and its the Middle Class working folk that feeds all of them!!
    As for those gazziolionaires having a pissing contest into space, Remember What goes up must come down !
  • KathyKathy
    Yep original 1965 ;) I was 7 years old , my older brother was "in charge" after school, so i was stuck with whatever he wanted on the t.v. even though i was charged (by him) to cross the room and switch the channel.

    *Over and Out"
    Nighty Night Birdies♡♡♡
  • Brian NBrian N
    Have I ever mentioned that I hate working Saturdays? Wot? More than once? Thinking of those working in retail brings me out in goosebumps. I need a tune to cheer me up, would you like me to share? I can hear you all shouting "No!" so I'm gonna.
    This song has a terrific guitar riff... "I won my way to the heart of the crowd"... Wonder if Howard Devoto works Saturdays?


    Before I go eat lunch I must tell about the molluscs having a scrap in our back garden :it was a real slug fest.

    https://youtu.be/ybUqM8jf3mU
  • Brian NBrian N
    Original 1965 version of what exactly @kathy? Did I miss something or were you having a conversation in your head only half of which made it to the page?

    Looking at the cast list for Carnival Row and it looks quite promising. I like Karla Crome and Jared Harris, might give it a whirl at some point.
  • HunnybunnyHunnybunny
    The Olympics are an amazing sight of human beings at the upper end of their absolute precise sporting limits
    And we watch on the sofa, eating pizza, and saying “Well, I wouldn’t have done it like that”
  • Brian NBrian N
    Everyone's a critic, I can't sort out the drug cheats from the genuine contenders.At least the Russians aren't here, that helps narrow it down a bit.
    Me I'm watching a quirky little film called :The man who killed Don Quixote. Strange but entertaining.
  • Desperate DanDesperate Dan
    Magazine? Just one of the greatest post punk bands. I just love the album Real Life. Definitive Gaze is a contender for my favourite album opener of all time. No hyperbole here.
  • Desperate DanDesperate Dan
    Doping may be going on but it's not as bad as back in the 1970s and 1980s when all the East German women looked like men
  • Brian NBrian N
    Went back to my old home town last week, I know it like the back of my hand. Ordered a takeaway. Went to pick it up, pulled into the layby jumped out of the car and went into the shop and said "telephone order for beef chow mein with curry sauce". There was an awkward 10 sec silence. Who would blink first?She did by saying "I think you need the Chinese takeaway next door."
    We both laughed, I'd gone into the Italian pizza parlour next door. On exiting I looked at our car, my wife was guffawing and pointing at me, my son was doing the L shape on his forehead, while my daughter was filming the whole event on her phone.
    That my friends is why I don't do sensitive or sulking. Was I embarrassed? No, on the contrary, I look forward to providing more moments of comedy gold for my family as I descend into senility.
  • KathyKathy
    I hate my life right now!!
  • Brian NBrian N
    Hey @kathy, what's up?
  • Brian NBrian N
    Yeah they were a great band, Devoto was clearly difficult to work with and I wonder how good The Buzzcocks would've been if he'd stayed in the line-up.

    https://youtu.be/AFJ71w_ez6Y
  • Brian NBrian N
    I'm off to bed guys, hope Dave isn't being a pain @kathy. Nite all.
  • KathyKathy
    Lol @BrianN Yes , To more the point My Dave is an ass, not DesperateDan Dave , nor the other Dave, and yes I started a conversation on the previous page , hit seneca, and apparently finished c my thought on this page, which didn't transfer .. no matter, I forget what I was talking about.
    Today we had a Non-Cookout which I was fully prepared for the Non part until 6p.m while Dave was out on a boat his mother and her friend showed up and then his other friends came, meanwhile I'm still in my pajamas! Hence my previous post, to say nothing about the n uninvited family having dinner on my back porch last night!! Unbeknownst to me, long story!!
    I must join the sulkers corner myself actually!
    Tomorrow I plan on staying in bed all day!!
  • KathyKathy
    Good story about the takeaway Brian *insert Rolly Guy* heeehee
  • Brian NBrian N
    Just wandering round the BP and I noticed someone has set up a banner with 'Sulkers Corner' written on it. She's wearing pyjamas and has a face like thunder and she's muttering about hitting seneca, didn't he die 2000 years ago? If she meant sambucca the rest of the post makes sense. BTW what's a non cook-out?
  • Brian NBrian N
    Never mind the Olympics, weren't the British Lions magnificent? Can they win the series?
  • Desperate DanDesperate Dan
    @kathy, in 3046 pages (minus one), I don't suppose there has been a sadder post than the one on this page. Twiggy gives you a friendly lick, a wagging tail and a hopeful look that you will chase her round the garden. Never fails to cheer me up.
    Sounds like you need a bit of space.
  • Desperate DanDesperate Dan
    @brianN, I can't get really excited about a contest where four rugby nations have to gang up to beat one. This is an odd set up. I find the fact that the Irish team is made of Northern Ireland and Eire even odder.
  • Brian NBrian N
    Looks like the weather is about to turn here. It always rains when the MIL lands for a few days. I think it's something to do with the height she goes on her broomstick interfering with the weather patterns.
  • ixan57ixan57
    @brianN the late great les Dawson : you knew when the MIL was coming, the mice would throw themselves on the traps
  • Brian NBrian N
    Yes a really funny guy with an especially fine line in MIL jokes. Here's another one:
    "I saw six blokes laying into the MIL, my neighbour said" Aren't you going to help? "
    " I said no, six should be enough. "
  • Brian NBrian N
    Speaking about Magazine the other day reminded me how brilliant a guitarist John McGeogh was. Check out some of his work with Siouxsie and the Banshees. Here's an example:

    https://youtu.be/TjvvK-Rj0WI
  • ixan57ixan57
    @brianN classic
  • HunnybunnyHunnybunny
    I’m taking my three litre wine box back to the supermarket for a refund
    It’s says it would last six weeks
    All gone in three hours
  • Desperate DanDesperate Dan
    That's no Joke!
  • Brian NBrian N
    Dan, that's rude. On an unrelated matter...

    https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Centzon_Tōtōchtin
  • Brian NBrian N
    As a Ricky Gervais fan I've no idea why it's taken me 20 years to watch The Office for the first time. I can't imagine anyone was doing anything like it back then. Spending half the time laughing the other half behind the sofa as it takes cringe comedy to new heights. My sister reckons the US version is even better(not often you can say that @kathy).
    Avid readers of The Beano in the 70's might remember a character called Cuthbert Cringeworthy.Did he start it all? (With a moniker like your's @desperatedan I suppose you read the other one?)
  • HunnybunnyHunnybunny
    Never seen it @Brian N
  • Desperate DanDesperate Dan
    Hmm, I don't think my parents allowed that sort of thing. I had to read Look and Learn which was full of worthy educational stuff like the mythology of 400 drunken rabbits. But oddly it had some comic strips as well including the brilliant Trigan Empire.
  • HunnybunnyHunnybunny
    I asked my husband to go to the Chemist and get some of those pills that make your sex life better
    He came home, and tossed me some diet pills
    He’s currently in a B&B
  • Desperate DanDesperate Dan
    As for SATB, I just shake my head and wonder what today's kids are getting off on. They are being duped. I let the video run on and it went into Transmission by Joy Division. Astounding stuff.
  • Brian NBrian N
    That's funny I asked the doctor for some sleeping pills for my wife. He asked why and I replied: "She keeps waking up."
  • Brian NBrian N
    So what is it you've never seen @hunnybunny? The Office or The Beano? My favourite character was always Billy Whizz, he moved faster than The Flash but took longer to do things than a tortoise because he always got tangled up in his own shenanigans. (That's The Beano BTW).
  • Brian NBrian N
    Hey @desperatedan, you know you're getting old when you make comments like that. Have to say though that 76-86 punk /new wave/post punk period will never be matched. (does that make me sound old?)
    There have been great bands since and currently of course. Think I've played a couple of tracks here by Everything Everything. Here's another one...

    https://youtu.be/xYabxQkSzNs
  • KathyKathy
    Hey Folks, I'm back, aren't you all happy :D
    I have to say thanks Twiggy , and to all of you , reading your posts really brought a very needed smile to my heart, and out loud laugher for the jokes, especially the wine joke @Hunnybunny and the sleeping pills one! And @BrianN my sympathies on the MiL, can't tell if you are joking or not, but MIL jokes are the bestest because there sooo true!
    Drunk Dave has got it of of his system (in more ways than one) gotta say I kinda felt had for him, but not a lot lol! He's still drunk Dave but not totally inconsiderate as he was this weekend, lesson learned I hope!
    Anyway The Sulkers lounge is open for anyone needing it, but it's roped off for now.. I'll go back to the Lurkers corner for a bit, I miss @catsnbirds ;)
  • Brian NBrian N
    Hey @kathy, we are always glad when ur back. Life's better when you can talk issues out. If I was Twiggy I'd give you a lick and chase you round the garden. Never knowing when I'm joking or not is part of my international man of mystery status.
  • Brian NBrian N
    Here's a joke I stole from @hunnybunny's notebook.
    Two hillbillies are in a restaurant. On another table a woman starts coughing and it' soon becomes obvious she's in trouble. One of the hillbillies goes over to her table and asks if she can swallow. She shakes her head. He then asks if she can breathe, as she's turning blue she shakes her head again.
    So the hillbillie lifts her skirt, pulls down her knickers and licks her left cheek. The woman has such a strong reaction that she spasms and the food lodged in her throat pings across the room.
    The hillbillie returns to his table and his pal says "I've heard of the hind lick manoeuvre before but
    never seen it in action."
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