Seniors on Angry Birds Nest Page 16
  • 1086 Comments
  • Ackkk good catch @mumsie i saw notification but didn't see the age posted should @AmSlimFordy are you about ¿
  • E* gone to sleep..
  • Nah she hasn't.... there is glue to my keyboard whooopsss! One whole hour has passed! hahahahah
  • I have edit the comment and now I am really really really going to bed... I think hahahaha night night!
  • Hahaha ;) *passes E* some glue remover and more muscle relaxer*
  • Thanks for responding so fast! Hope you're feeling better and had a good night's sleep
  • oops in wrong bit of ABN!!!
  • Well done @mumsie42!! LOL :D
  • ROFLMAO :D
  • @mumsie42 I figured you were doing a practice run for after e-star throws the first here we go to get it started!! :D
  • You did brilliant Mumsie!!
  • Oh @mumsie42 thanks for the warning! Now i know it.
  • A man was dressing for the dinner to receive his Nobel prize.
    He said to his wife:
    Dear, did you ever think in your wildest dreams that I would get a Nobel prize?
    She replied:
    Dear, you're not in my wildest dreams.
  • @Jim my other half fell off his chair laughing at that one, and gave me a suspicious look
    Love it :-)
  • Nice one @jim!

    Wife – You hate my relatives!
    Husband – No, I don’t! In fact, I like your mother-in-law more than I like mine. …
  • LOL both good ones!!! Thanks @jim and @mumsie42 :D
    Just got one called Male logic for a Female

    Woman:
    Do you drink beer?
    Man: Yes

    Woman:
    How many beers a day?

    Man:
    Usually about 3

    Woman:
    How much do you pay per beer?

    Man: $5.00 which includes a tip

    (This is where it gets scary !)

    Woman:
    And how long have you been drinking?

    Man:
    About 20 years, I suppose

    Woman:
    So a beer costs $5 and you have 3 beers a day which puts your spending each month at $450. In one year, it would be approximately $5400 …correct?

    Man:
    Correct

    Woman:
    If in 1 year you spend $5400, not accounting for inflation, the past
    20 years puts your spending at $108,000, correct?

    Man:
    Correct

    Woman:
    Do you know that if you didn't drink so much beer, that money could have been put in a step-up interest savings account and after accounting for compound interest for the past 20 years, you could have now bought a Ferrari?

    Man:
    Do you drink beer?

    Woman:
    No

    Man:
    Where's your Ferrari?
  • I like that one @kimmiecv. I guess her Ferrari is in her wardrobe (like mine).
  • ROFLMAO I think your right @cosmo2503!! :D
  • Top 10 Signs You Are Too Old to Be Trick or Treating:

    10. You get winded from knocking on the door.
    9. You have to have a kid chew the candy for you.
    8. You ask for high fiber candy only.
    7. When someone drops a candy bar in your bag, you lose your balance and fall over.
    6. People say, ”Great Keith Richard’s mask!” and you’re not wearing a mask.
    5. When the door opens you yell, ”Trick or …” and can’t remember the rest.
    4. By the end of the night, you have a bag full of restraining orders.
    3. You have to carefully choose a costume that won’t dislodge your hairpiece.
    2. You’re the only Power Ranger in the neighborhood with a walker.
    1. You avoid going to houses where your ex-wives/ex-husbands live.
  • I think I may have already reached no 10!
  • nacho18: hi I am 67 years old. I play 25 to 30 hours a week AB . I am wonder if I am one of the oldest
  • Hi @nacho18 - You're definitely not the oldest but you are certainly old enough for the seniors forum! Read back and you'll see! What is your favourite AB game?
  • With that much game play @nacho18, I'll need to check out your scores. Are there really seventeen other Nacho's?
  • @nacho18--I couldn't find you listed anywhere. No scores?
  • @rat -- Nacho18 has been around for a long time, but I guess he doesn't post scores on the leaderboard. You need to search for him under all members on the main site.
  • @mvnla2--I have tried every variation of nacho18 in the members directory. No luck again. Not saying he's not there, but I'm not smart enough to find him.
  • @mvnla2--I just got smarter. I needed to switch categories.
  • @rat9 I just pulled him up, did you spell it exactly as nacho18? It should pop him right up, his avy is a pic of him. He has been here a long time, I see him in walkthroughs all the time but no he doesn't put his scores in.

    @JLZ-666 too frikken funny!!! :D
  • The Atheist, A Bear And God

    An atheist was walking through the woods, admiring all that the
    "accidents" that evolution had created.

    "What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals!" he
    said to himself.

    As he was walking alongside the river he heard a rustling in the bushes
    behind him. Turning to look, he saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charge towards
    him.

    He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder
    and saw the grizzly was closing.

    Somehow, he ran even faster, so scared that tears came to his eyes. He
    looked again and the bear was even closer.

    His heart was pounding and he tried to run faster. He tripped and fell
    to the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but the bear was right
    over him, reaching for him with its left paw and raising its right paw
    strike him.

    At that instant the atheist cried, "Oh my God...!"

    Time stopped. The bear froze. The forest was silent.
    Even the river stopped moving.

    As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky,
    "You deny my existence for all these years, teach others that I don't exist
    and even credit creation to a cosmic accident. Do you expect me to help
    you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer?"

    The atheist looked directly into the light, "It would be hypocritical to
    ask to be religious after all these years, but perhaps you could make
    the bear religious?"

    "Very well" said the voice.

    The light went out. The river ran. The sounds of the forest resumed.

    ..and then the bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws together
    and bowed its head and spoke: "Lord, for this food which I am about to
    receive, I am truly thankful..."
  • Hahahahahahahahaha I love it ,
    @Mumsie can't wait to show my Co-worker who claims he's an atheist;)
  • @Mumsie -- LoL! Great! Got the "hubby chuckle" stamp of approval.
  • God's Solution

    One day in the Garden of Eden, Eve calls out to God:

    "Lord, I have a problem."

    "What's the problem, Eve?"

    "Lord, you've created me and provided this beautiful spot, these wonderful animals, and that comedic snake, but I'm just not happy."

    "Why is that, Eve?" came the voice from above.

    "Lord, I am lonely. And I'm sick to death of apples."

    "Well, perhaps I have a solution. I shall create a man for you."

    "What's a man, Lord?"

    "Man will be a flawed creature, with aggressive tendencies, an enormous ego and an inability to empathize. All in all, he'll give you a hard time. But he'll be bigger, faster, and stronger than you. And while he'll need your advice to think properly, he'll be good at fighting, kicking a ball around, hunting fleet-footed ruminants, and not altogether bad in the sack.

    "Sounds good to me," says Eve. "But isn't there a catch, Lord?"

    "Yeah, well, there is one."

    "What's that, Lord?"

    "You'll have to let him believe that I made him first."
  • @Mumsie -- Love it! Where do you get these?
  • What Do You Really Mean?

    A motorcycle cop had just pulled over a red Porsche after it had run a stop sign.
    "May I see your driver's license and registration please."

    "What's the problem, officer?"

    "You just ran that stop sign back there."

    "Oh come on, pal, there wasn't a car within miles of me."

    "Nevertheless sir, you are required to come to a complete stop, look both ways, and proceed with caution."

    "You gotta be kidding me!"

    "It's no joke, sir."

    "Look, I slowed down almost to a complete stop, saw no one within twenty miles, and proceeded with caution."

    "That's beside the point, sir. You are supposed come to a complete stop, and you didn't. Now if I may see your license and"

    "You've got a lot of time on your hands, pal. What's the matter, all the doughnut shops closed?"

    "Sir, I'll overlook that last comment. Let me see your license and registration immediately."

    "I will, if you can tell me the difference between slowing down, and coming to a complete stop."

    The policeman had enough. "Sir, I can do better than that." He opened the car door, dragged the rude motorist out, and proceeded to methodically beat him over the head with his nightstick.

    "Now sir, would you like for me to slow down or come to a complete stop?
  • @Mumsie LOL that counts as police brutality sadly.

    In reality stop signs should be complied with. There have been too many instances in my driving experience in reality that involve people taking "night time" for granted and dashing out into main roads without looking, often realizing there was indeed oncoming traffic and stopping right in the middle of oncoming traffic.

    Because it is night time, drivers should be even more cautious about minor to major road transitions because black vehicles, vehicles with malfunctioning lighting, and motorcycles tend to be harder to see in darkness (even if the bike has a headlight, it's hard to gauge distance to said oncoming bike sometimes). A second to stop and check is much smarter than just coasting out blindly and getting T-boned by something potentially very large at high speed.

    Even if the "road seems to be clear for 20 miles" there are vision and lighting anomalies that may cause an oncoming vehicle to be 'invisible' on first glance.
  • Bwahahahahaa that was toooo funny @mumsie42!!! :D

    @LesToreador erm yeah you understand that was actually a joke and not real right? Your supposed to you know Ha Haa Haahaa when you read it?! Just sayin ;D
  • @Kimmecv - Road safety is a light hearted topic.... for Foreman Pig.

    I am actually amused by the number of black cars with no lights around here. They think they are race cars.

    More fun are bicyclists dressed in black, on black bikes, with no lights, who dash out into main streets without looking!

    Fun (for Foreman Pig!) :D
  • OMG you guys are killin' me here! Looks like I got to dig up a few and post them here. Now...where did that go...?

    On a more serious note, @les-toreadors I know first-hand what it's like to be on the receiving end of someone not looking TWICE for motorcycles. My hubby and I ride all the time, and it seems like 95% of the time we're out, there's been near-misses. The worst offenders are drivers who are texting or talking on their cell phones. Others just don't look at all when changing lanes, pulling out of a driveway, backing out of a parking space, turning right on a corner, and many, many other instances. Many people in "cages" think they always have the right-of-way. The most popular response when a driver is asked why they hit the motorcycle is, "I didn't see him/her."

    Sorry for being such a turd, but this issue is a very sore subject for me, and has almost cost my husband his life when someone pulled out right in front of him, changing lanes on a busy freeway. :'(

    Ok, now that I've gotten that off my chest...

  • So there was this female business executive who was late for a meeting.
    She is going 65 on a street where the speed limit is 40.

    A cop pulls her over and says “ma’am, can I please see your license?”

    She says “I’m sorry, officer, but I got it revoked two years ago for drunk driving.”

    His brow furrows and he straightens up. “Well, can I please see the registration of your car?”

    She says “I stole the car and I killed the driver; he’s in the trunk.”

    “Ma’am, DON’T MOVE, I’m calling for backup.”

    He mutters furiously into his walkie-talkie…

    Five minutes later, half the squad pulls up, the Chief of Police walks over to the woman’s window.

    “Ma’am, can I see your license?” he asks sternly.

    “Of course, officer,” she smiles demurely and pulls out a license from her purse.

    He squints warily at it. “This looks legitimate,” he mumbles.

    “Can I see the registration to this car?”

    She pulls it out of the glove compartment and hands it to him.

    “Ma’am, stand back!”

    He bangs open the trunk of the car and flinches: but it was completely empty…

    The woman brandishes a finger at the first cop and says accusingly, “And I’ll bet that liar told you I was speeding too!!”
  • ...and people complain that motorcycles make too much noise!
    "Loud Pipes Saves Lives" is a very valid statement.
  • Two elderly women were in a beauty salon getting their hair done when in walked a 21-year-old girl with a low-cut blouse that revealed the tattoo of a rose on one breast.

    One woman leaned over to the other and whispered: "Poor thing. She doesn't know it, but in 50 years she'll have a long-stemmed rose in a hanging basket!"
  • @SweetP - to a point.

    Overly loud pipes (or worse, no pipe at all) becomes annoying and irresponsible to road users and people.

    For my purpose (Asian city riding and countryside rallies) I usually place more importance on lighting. There are ways to make motorcycles highly distinctive and easily noticeable from a distance using a pair of foglights up front (if you see 3 light points you can gauge the range to the bike easily), maybe add a small LED or EL strip for the Audi DRL effect.

    For rear visibility wearing an orange reflective vest and putting certain types of reflective strips on the bike's panniers makes it look like a police patrol bike making road users think twice (sometimes much more than twice) before messing with me or my convoy.

    For those road users who are so clueless as not spot a safety-equipped rider that is visible a mile away, I have a pair of air horns...


    ps. Just as for sound, don't overdo the lighting. Really, two foglights on the crashbars or front fairings are enough -> this tip came from rail-road lighting design where people had trouble spotting the train if it had one single headlight, whereas a locomotive with 3 lights arrayed in a triangle was easily recognized and correctly ranged.
  • Holy crap!!!! @sweetp that LADY WAS @mumsie42!!!!! It's a True story!! She was actually chasing @JLZ-666 down trying to get to her kilted men when the cop pulled her over!! Thinking fast on her feet she tosses the drunk, stolen car, dead man out there and got away Scott free!! But by the time she was able to escape the cops she'd lost JLZ-666 and her kilted men!! Foiled and thwarted by a near miss with a cop and a ticket!!!! We had the whole tale in BP some time ago!!! great fun that!!!! ;O

    Ok carry on with your motorcycle, bad drivers conversation!! I gotta go stir up more trouble elsewhere!!! ;)
  • @mumsie42 you're infamous! LMAO! Who would've thought? Haahaaaa!
    Loved the rose joke @sweetP :D
  • Sweet rides!

    Good point on the lighting regulations, they can vary from nation to nation but it seems you have maximized visibility within legal limits, which is what we should all do anyway!

    Indicators on the mirrors ('signal mirrors' more or less like car equivalents, yes) seems to be a nice modification as it puts the blinkers further out from the centerline and headlight beam.

    LED taillights are also very desirable as they do increase the rearward visibility significantly.

    As for air horns... I can get by with friendly signalling back in the good old 'colonial' days where people were generally respectful of one another... but these days where 'cagers' don't seem to think before coming to within inches of motorcyclists (they think that 1/2 a lane is empty space for overtaking!), a very loud and stern warning that shocks them out of their comfy seats is a good thing to have.

    That and I often come to the rescue of foreign commuter bikes (very small mopeds) who get bullied by local drivers, and a 10 second burst of airhorn while I roll in to their six is as effective as machine gun fire lol :)


    p.s., you don't wanna know how 'illegal' I got with the lighting on mine lol. I had this focusable LED torch on a helmet mount that would be a final 'wake up call' for a troublemaker before the airhorns came on. Thing was as bright as a laser beam.

    Much of the convoy lighting was put on quick-release mounts so the machine looked innocent in the day. Snap on for night ops and when they were on the cops didn't seem to mind. They seemed to like my faux 'patrol vehicle' and I sometimes tagged along behind their highway patrols. Which seemed to make me even more recognizable lol.
  • Hmm. It sounds like everyone here is a very responsible rider. But I've got to weigh in on the other side of the motorcycle / bike discussion.
    As many of you know, I live in Los Angeles, which may be the world capital of irresponsible drivers on both sides. I mean, we have some car drivers intentionally running down bicyclists or just totally ignoring the bicycle's right of way. A co-worker of mine and one of my husband's were killed in car / bicycle accidents. Both riders were very responsible, and both accidents occurred during the day in good visibility and good weather.
    On the other side. LA has a huge number of irresponsible bicycle and motorcycle riders. Bicyclists routinely do not stop at stop signs or even stoplights. The other day I actually saw one sail through a red light without even slowing down! Motorcyclists generally save their irresponsibility for the freeways, often vying for, and sometimes winning the Darwin Award (being killed in the process). You may not be aware that, at least in California, it is legal for motorcycles to "split the lanes" with car drivers (ride down the white stripe between lanes of cars generally going much slower). Since cars are often going less than 20 mph on the freeway, a motorcycle going the speed limit (65mph) comes up on a car very quickly, and usually travels through the car-driver's blind spot before barreling past. It doesn't surprise me in the least that a driver changing lanes might not see the motorcycle until it is too late. Unfortunately, the car driver always wins the altercation.
  • Back to golf!

    A woman turned 80 years old. She was an avid golfer, so she decided to move to Florida and join a country club. On her first day at her new club, she was told that there wasn't anybody else available for a game just then.
    Seeing her disappointment, and wanting to make her feel welcome, the female assistant pro offered to play with her, and asked her how many strokes she wanted for a bet. 
The older woman said, "I don't think I need any strokes, I've been playing great lately. I just have a heck of a time getting out of sand traps."
    True to her word, the 80 year old played beautifully. When they came to the par four 18th, she and the pro were all even. The pro hit a gorgeous tee shot, knocked her next one on the green, and two-putted for par. The older lady hit a great drive, but her second shot landed in a steep-sided bunker next to the green. Playing from the sand, she lofted a high, soft shot. It came down a few feet from the cup and rolled in for a birdie, winning her the match and all the money.
    The 80 year old was still standing in the trap when the pro walked over and said, "Beautiful shot! I thought you said you had a problem getting out of traps?"
    "I really do,” the 80 year old replied. “Would you mind giving me a hand?"
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