The Bloated Pig - A Place for Weary Flingers Page 2994
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  • KathyKathy
    And although @Tienshenlong can no longer post I just want him to know I remember this day ((((((hugs)))) my dragon friend :(
  • KathyKathy
    I swear I did not Take the Crown on purpose! I didn't even notice until just now!
    You are relieved @DesperateDan , you can keep the Fez :)
  • Desperate DanDesperate Dan
    Thanks @kathy, it fits well. I am a little intrigued to know if you know who Delia Smith is. Another anecdote. A few years ago I fell off my push bike on the way to work and banged my head (I had a helmet on but it split). I arrived a work with a headache and slightly woozy. I went straight to a meeting which was video link somewhere. Some woman I had never met before at the other end commented that I looked a little spaced out. I explained why and I was immediately packed off to the local A&E to be checked for concussion. Fortunately I was OK. But it turned out that the woman who diagnosed me was called Delia Smith (and she was American). I never asked her about cakes.
  • Brian NBrian N
    Are you sure you're OK @desperatedan?
  • Brian NBrian N
    Was I moaning about the cold yesterday? Me and my big mouth. It were proper cold today. Got home and jumped straight into the fridge for a quick warm up. Did get warmed up at lunchtime. Bought a chilli sausage roll from Pie Bob's, they're normally quite spicy, but this one was right off the Scoville scale. I reckon the guy in charge of putting the chilli flakes in the meat mixture had a sudden spasm and yeated the whole tub in, then walked away whistling nonchalantly. It was good tho.
  • Brian NBrian N
    For all the gazillion cookery shows Delia Smith did on UK TV I'll always remember her for that famous rant she went on when she was owner/chairwoman of Norwich City Football Club. Forget the exact circumstances, but she grabbed the MC's mic at halftime during a Norwich home game, strode(or was that staggered) onto the pitch and layed into the home fans.
    "c'mon, where are you, let's be 'avin' you"
    Not one Norwich fan would have challenged her that day.Think she'd have biffed them all in. But I love that kind of passion in a team owner. Some of the faceless oligarch's that own clubs today never speak about their teams(Is this starting to sound like a rant?)
    C'mon Delia, where are you?
    Learned a couple of things about her that day
    1-She's not the calm motherly figure she appears to be.
    2-We now know what happened to the leftover sherry from all those trifles she made.

  • Brian NBrian N
    Hi @kathy,when the cable guy comes just remember he's merely the messenger. So even if the message is "Sorry we can't fix it today, that'll be 50$" Try not to bludgeon him to death. Hugs and kisses are the way forward.
  • Desperate DanDesperate Dan
    Don't bludgeon him to death before he's fixed it. Afterwards is OK. That's what I do.
  • Desperate DanDesperate Dan
    Delia has a recipe for toast in one of her books. A true icon.
  • Desperate DanDesperate Dan
    Drinks on me, got a trophy by accident in ABO but not on Challenge (puts in cabinet, locks the padlock, hides key, last time I did it @asher snaffled it within 24 hours. Or was it Jane Asher?)

    @brianN, you have a lot to answer for. This pub used to make sense.

  • Brian NBrian N
    A pub that makes sense? I'd give it a wide berth if I were you.
  • gumbygumby
    @SweetP Happy Belated Birthday
    @kathy WAAAAAASSSSSSSSSUUUUUPPPPPPPP
    @desperatedan I can't do most of the Brass Hogs episodes either> Haven't spent much time in Space once all my progress was lost. I also can't play Bird Island, Jurassic Pork, or a lot of other ABO episodes. Spend most of my time in Seasons now.
  • catsnbirdscatsnbirds
    Having been a regular since page 1, I assure you that the BP has never made sense! Why do you think we love it ... our escape from everyday life to the freedom of imagination.
  • Brian NBrian N
    Hey @gumby,can't believe u haven't spent much time in space. Love ur dry sense of humour. That comment about the fairies still tickles me.
    Well said @catsnbirds, if I had a video of naked firemen posing with cats I'd post it for you. But I think @tompuss has the monopoly on that kind of thing.
  • KathyKathy
    Cable guy set free unharmed! After agreeing to rent their equipment rather than the brand new one I bought! They got ya by the ... Anyhoo now I can watch my Netflix on my TV :)
  • gumbygumby
    They always want you to rent their equipment @kathy. Any chance you got a nice router for me? Mine is on its deathbed and I don't rent the cable company equipment.

    @BrianN glad you enjoy my humor :)
  • KathyKathy
    @Gumby Wwwasssuuppp???
    Yeah you can have my Netgear86 , I'm gonna try returning the other one cuz I still have the receipt , but your welcome to the other one! It works fine! And I have all the info for it
  • KathyKathy
    Congrats on the trophy @DesperateDan :) good idea to lock it up away from @Asher and his high tech stuff, and comfy chair! Lol I'm expecting him to pop in any day now, as we keep mentioning him.. First drink is on the House :D
    no.. no. We are Not intimated , maybe a bit.. but No.. he's actually Not a bad guy..
  • Desperate DanDesperate Dan
    I think the @kathy keyboard might have struck there at the end Either that or @asher is truly terrifying.
  • Brian NBrian N
    Yes @desperatedan,think I'll upgrade household security. Think those notions of @asher being head of SPECTRE not so far off the mark.

    On a plus point, some kind of harmony has been restored to the universe now that@kathy has the Internet back.
  • Brian NBrian N
    Netgear86@kathy,is that steam powered?
  • KathyKathy
    Quick pop in to say hello! And Nighty night
    You'll never guess what I'm doing lol!
  • Desperate DanDesperate Dan
    We can get you therapy
  • Brian NBrian N
    Fans of Monty Python may be surprised to find the 'Black Knight' sketch from the film M P @ the Holy Grail may have it's origins in a 600 y old text.
    For those unfamiliar with the film, the scene has a Knight who refuses to give in. Despite having all his limbs cut off he insists the fight goes on saying"Tis but a scratch".
    Anyway an old manuscript has been found by British Library curators depicting two knights having a scrap. One using his leg as a sword,,the other using his head as a shield.
    We Brits have always been stoic.
  • KathyKathy
    Hey Birdy Friends, just a quick pop in to say hello!
    I'll be back after dinner...
  • KathyKathy
    @Gumby Waaassssuuuuupppp is the steam powered NetGear86 working now! Better than your old one! Quicker??
  • Brian NBrian N
    Hey @ Kathy, that was quick, what did u have for dinner? A lettuce leaf?
  • gumbygumby
    @kathy yep it is working. It took a few hours for me to get it up and running but is working fine. I don't notice any speed difference. It definitely is running much cooler than my other one by about 1000 degrees. :)
  • gumbygumby
    @kathy Thanks again.
  • KathyKathy
    Lol @BrianN I don't eat lettuce! I had some Mozzarella sticks.. still a bit hungry but idk, maybe I'll have some pancakes!
    Happy you got it working @Gumby and your very welcome! Figures I just found the receipt for that one, but it's outside the margin of return by about a year :/ oh well I hope they will take the other one back, it's over 30 days but not quite 60 days. I'll just cry and make them feel sorry for me, and I'll blame it on Comcast and the Covid!
    (Disclaimer) 'not responsible for autocorrect KathyBoard'
  • Desperate DanDesperate Dan
    Ha @kathy! Don't think we didn't notice that you went back and changed your post about @asher. We think you are running scared. He has weapons of torture at his disposal. The much feared comfy chair (no-one expects that...). You are going to have to go to ground.
  • Brian NBrian N
    Yeah, I saw that piece of Kathy chicanery, now we look like the bad guys.
    Even Doug & Dinsdale Piranha have gone to ground. Time to bring Harry Snapper-Organs of Q Division out of retirement methinks.

    For anyone who hasn't tasted the humour of Monty Python, can I recommend the fish? The Fish Slapping Dance that is. 90 secs of comedy heaven. Guaranteed to make you laugh or your money back.
  • KathyKathy
    Hmm , wasn't me! Must be the Ghost in the walls...;)
  • Brian NBrian N
    Piece of lunchtime trivia for you(managed to sidestep Pie Bob's today in favour of a more conservative ham and pickle sandwich). No that's not it, nothing trivial about my lunch let me tell ya.
    Did u know Eric Idle was born in my old home town. Also tho he wasn't born there Stan Laurel lived across the river for 10years.I know what ur thinking, 3 brilliant comedians from the same area, what r the chances?

    While u r pondering on that, was wondering what would happen if the panda population got out of control. Could we have another Chinese pandemic?
  • gumbygumby
    @BrianN No I think that would be a PANDA-emic. :P
  • Brian NBrian N
    I'd like to quote the legend that is Delia Smith.
    "Take 2 eggs, separate the yolks..." Sorry, bear with me, wrong quote... Ah found it.
    "c'mon, where are you,? Let's be 'avin' you"
    I'm sure I just saw some tumbleweed roll across the BP floor.
  • Brian NBrian N
    @desperatedan.I consider you a man of science. Can you tell me why I'm still seeing bluebottle s flying about outside in December. It never got above 1°c today. Where the heck are they coming from?
  • Desperate DanDesperate Dan
    Have you been drinking?
  • Brian NBrian N
    Have you guys taken a vow of silence? I'm booking myself in at The Nappy Valley rest home, it's much more exciting there. Tomorrow night is music night. Hosted by resident entertainer Carrie(sister of Phil Oakey)
    To start proceedings we have Motorhead's 'Ace Of Spades' played on the spoons by Tony Bennett. Followed by a medley of songs from one of my favourite albums 'Never Mind The B*ll*cks' by The S*x Pistols. Played on harpsichord by Vinnie Jones(such a featherlight touch on the keyboard).
    Finally, the piece de la resistance, a live set by Siouxsie and the Banshees. (Virtual of course)
    They're a cheap gig these days. All Steve Severin wants is a beef tea with a straw. Siousie is still a bit of a diva, insists on a 1lb of mascara, a 3 pack of lager(can't hold her liquor these days), and incontinence pants (XL) (she can't hold her liquid these days).
    Nite nite. Sing along... This is the happy house, we're happy here... Whoaoah
  • Brian NBrian N
    Don't you believe I saw bluebottles? They were big enough to feed a family of 5.
  • Desperate DanDesperate Dan
    Talking of recipes (well I am), here is one of the saddest recipes you will ever hear. Courtesy of Mrs Beeton's Book of Household Management (1861), it begins "Gently break the heart of a young lettuce..."

    The legend that is Delia would never do that.
  • Desperate DanDesperate Dan
    Carrie Oakey.





    Got it now. Doh!
  • TomPussTomPuss
    @Brian_N Monty Python! Hope you like this interview:

    https://youtu.be/GasSJEx9jEc
  • TomPussTomPuss
    @Brian_N

    And this:

    https://youtu.be/Mw-bLS_th_U
  • Brian NBrian N
    Yes. The life of Brian. Can't complain really.
    As for Fawlty Towers, probably the funniest show ever made. Every episode is an absolute gem. Thanks for that @tompuss.
  • Brian NBrian N
    @desperatedan.I know someone who would have no trouble with Mrs Beeton's recipe. Our @kathy would take delight in jumping up and down on the heart of a lettuce shouting"Boy do I not like lettuce"
  • Brian NBrian N
    Bloomin' kids. My daughter's reached an age where she thinks it's funny to take photos of her old dad sitting asleep on the sofa. Actually it was quite funny, I still had the TV remote clutched in my hand. They'll have to prise it out of my dead fingers. It's a man thing.
  • Desperate DanDesperate Dan
    Twiggy will happily eat lettuce. Is that a dog thing or is she just weird?

    And yes, Fawlty Towers is genius. Oddly enough, I believe the first episode got panned by some of the critics.
  • Brian NBrian N
    In the video that @tompuss linked you see John Cleese reading a memo from the BBC itself saying... "This show is as dire as the title. I forsee nothing but disaster etc..."
    What do they know. It was the perfect vehicle for Cleese' comedic talents. And the dynamic with Scales, Sachs and Booth was magical.
  • Desperate DanDesperate Dan
    Hey @kathy, it's on Netflix, even the controversial episode which requires a warning that some viewers might find it racially offensive. That's probably the funniest one.
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