Six Machines of the Bad Piggies Industrial Revolution

bacon construction vehiclesWelcome to another Pigineering special “repork” from the sunny shores of Piggy Island! Strategically located in the middle of the Rovio Sea and easily accessible via the iOS App Store, Google Play or wherever else, Piggy Island had experienced a massive boom of tourism for the past few years despite an ongoing war between the two major animal species residing there.

Puns aside, in 2012 the Bad Piggies game was released to the public and finally the pigs have commenced an industrial revolution to change pig life for the better. Trade and communications have been sped up enormously with modern planes, trains and pork-o-mobiles, while top entrepreneur Bacon Musk had even contemplated providing low cost access to space with his new range of Bacon 9 rockets. All this despite no news of any future updates to the Bad Piggies game, but as we say, real engineers just need a Field of Dreams and some blueprints to build by!

Pumpkin Machine Gun Schematics copy

Who needs slingshots when pigs have MACHINE GUNS?

• • •

For the past two years, the Bad Piggies Community along with Pigineering, have been pushing the boundaries of the Bad Piggies game engine, boldly going where no pig has gone before with mad inventions that fail “epigly” and just about explode all over the place.

But with time, silly inventions did give way to practical applications for pig-built machinery. Indeed, the development of Bad Piggies pig-engineering does mirror, in some way our own human history from the 18th to the early 20th Centuries, and we hope you enjoy the hilarious irony in the following list of recent and notable pigineering creations. There may be no game updates promised in the near future, but thanks to the ham-fisted determination from the Bad Piggies Community, there’s nothing stopping us from reaching out to broaden our horizons and forge a new world where pigs live in peace amongst the stars (eventually)!

Impressive as the Bacon Space Program is, we’re still a long way to go from actually sending the Fat Pig to colonize the various donuts, cakes and ice cream planets floating out there. So while we continue watching rockets blow up on the launch pad, here’s a list of some down-to-earth Bad Piggies machinery you’re sure to be thrilled with in the meantime:

#1 — The Great Pumpkin Harvester

The Victorian Age introduced industrial automation to the farm, replacing traditional snout and trotter labor with powerful new machines. This Pumpkin Harvester not only is far more rapid than manual labor, but can ferry produce direct to market by air as well.

In my book, that’s far superior to 21st Century human technology already!

#2 — Jet Propelled Catapork (Catapult)

Traditional Cataporks are huge, unwieldy medieval siege engines with a limited range, typically used by Corporal Pig to hurl vegetables and old furniture at bird-shaped targets.

While King Pig Office ordered us to design a slingshot so that he too can enjoy some bird-flinging action, the Director of Pigineering decided to reinvent the wheel (so to speak) and produce a next-generation weapon system on par with modern human missiles.

The Jet Propelled Catapork is a compact platform firing a rocket propelled warhead fitted with a rudimentary guidance system that precisely diverts rocket thrust to compensate for the Earth’s gravity pull. This makes it much easier to aim for the obviously untrained Soldier Pigs out there.(Corporal Pig infamously can’t hit an egg with a crossbow from FIVE YARDS away!)

The King Pig was utterly confused by this device and it was never featured at all on Facepork, Twitter, or elsewhere. Hilarious!

#3 — Inverted Wing for Downforce

Why did we do this? Because Racecar, that’s why.

This automotive accessory is absolutely mandatory for fans of the famous racing game series Need for Egg: Pork Pursuit. Inverted wings keep go-fast piggies grounded to the ground. The huger the wing, the greater the ridiculousness! (That’s “awesome” in pig language, by the way.)

#4 — High Speed Pig-Mobility Walker

The HSPMW is a medical device intended to teach large, lazy pigs to walk again, after decades of doing nothing but eating and sleeping. It is inspired by recent advances in strength-enhancing robotic ‘power suits’ made in Japan.

This device was designed in response to growing health and safety concerns over using small piglets as porters for King Pig’s incredibly porky, Moon-eclipsing hulk. King Pig might have no feet, but he sure can bounce fast given proper motivation!

king pig porters

#5 — Crawler-Transporter & Soyuz Rocket

Part NASA Crawler-Transporter, part Russian Soyuz, this crazy “mad scientist” contraption is a finely tuned horizontal-transport, vertical-launch platform for the next generation of space exploration vehicles.

The vehicle is assembled horizontally and tilted vertical for launch, as it is deemed a more space-economical solution, as vertical assembly requires a huge assembly building like the VAB at Cape Canaveral, Florida. Pigs like Russian simplicity!

#6 — Bridge Over River Pork

“Bridge Over River Pork” chronicles the ingenuity of King Pig’s Royal Pigineers in spanning the chasms over the infamous “Flight in the Night” sandbox levels with pre-fabricated, air or land-transportable bridges. This greatly eases communications lines in this formerly impassable terrain.

Despite insistence from Army officers to “design a proper bridge”, sub-standard labor coupled with materials supplied by the lowest bidder meant that the Bridge Over River Pork was destroyed at the very first instance it was used. Pig officers then claimed that the ever-expanding waistlines of Pig Army soldiers are to blame.

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We hope you enjoyed this ridiculous and controversial (as always) Pig-Written news pork-cast, and hope to see you again as we document the Bacon Space Program next time. Remember piglets, the sky is NOT the limit in the realm of Photoshop!

Bad piggies ISS Full Station copy

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by @les-toreadors
Images of Bad Piggies construction vehicles and pig-porters from Angry Birds Toons
All other images pork-duced in-house at Pigineering.

Tags: , , ,
Category: Bad Piggies, Pigineering

Comments (12)

Rank: Sling God with 35350 points
By Joey (@joeyba)

I’m always amazed when I see this!! It’s just amazing!!

Rank: Master Slinger with 5510 points
By SeasonsKing (@theangrybird)

Amazing!

Rank: Fling King with 4080 points
By DonSleza4e (@donsleza4e)

Racecar is so cool, but Soyuz Rocket is absolutely amazing – best construction ever :P

Rank: Explosive with 2470 points
By Les Toreadors (@les-toreadors)

I’m doing the SpaceX Falcon 9-Reusable variant next. Glad you enjoy the space stuff :)

Rank: Well Traveled with 1815 points
By Aidbirds11 (@aidbirds11)

Ah, great vehicles of Bad Piggies. But i just cant get hold of my self of how the last one reminds me of of the “Abduction” Episode of Piggy Tales…

Rank: Well Traveled with 1815 points
By Aidbirds11 (@aidbirds11)

Okay, now that i looked at it more closesly, it now reminds me of the opposite.

Rank: Well Traveled with 1990 points
By Sandeep (@sandeep-kamath)

Wow! Just amazing!

Rank: Sling God with 67585 points
By wrw01 (@wrw01)

Loved the never say fail attitude of the bridge over pork river creators, outstanding.

Rank: Gold Flinger with 8830 points
By Andy (@andy2510)

Ha-ha!! Spotted the Jeremy Clarkson/UK Top Gear reference! Has the Burma episode been shown in the US already or is the designer British?

Anyway – cue contractual obliged reference…

“Engineer pig wears a hat!
Corporal pig wears a hat!
And King Pig wears a hat with spiky things on!”

Rank: Sling God with 26000 points
By Uncle B (@uncle-b)

Absolutely Awesome !!! The imagination and creativity of the Pigineering crew is second to none! So glad to now have you as part of the AngryBirdsNest community.

By Russell VanKirk

They should add water levels and sandboxes, where you could make boats and submarines and stuff

By Ekam

So good game

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