The Punny Pig Place (Jokes)

[Les Toreadors]

The King Pig is so fat, that when he appeared over the Earth’s Horizon, NASA classified him as a NEW MOON!

[Justadoo444]

What do you get if you paint the Blues Yellow and put ’em in the situation in ABT episode “Hiccups”?
Popcorn.

[ssggh]

two piggies are peeing says one beautiful radius say
says the other so can you if you do your fly open

sorry i use google translate

[Justadoo444]

What do you call an orange pig that bounces around with a springy tail?

Pigger!

(IMO, that was a lame one, but it still is slightly clever.)

.

[Justadoo444]

Limeric:

There once was a pig with some bread
And that very so hungry pig said
“This is very so strange!
I have food in “Bird’s Range”!”
And be-fore he ate, Oh, his head!

[Les Toreadors]

What is inside the body of a green pig?

A pig stomach :)

[Red]

What do you get when you play Tug-of-War with a pig?

Pulled-Pork

[Red]

What is a pig’s favorite color?

Mahogany

[Les Toreadors]

@james1562 – that took a minute to figure out – Ma-HOG-any :D

Why does the King Pig like donuts?

A: It’s not like it’s a round peg trying to fit into a square hole – it’s a round pig in a round hole! :)

[Justadoo444]

We all type like this.

King Pig wishes to type like this.

[Jkhab69]

I bet I can come up with the best worst one (yes, I meant that).

Why are the pigs such bad actors?

Because they always ham it up.

[Jkhab69]

why don’t the pigs make cake?
because they hate bakin’

[Jkhab69]

what do you call a pig named Robert Quinton covered in ketchup, molasses, and vinegar?
bobby-q
(give it a few seconds, yes it really is that bad)

[Kelani]

Shamelessly borrowed (in part) from Whenpigsfly.bz

When Pigs Fly, they:

Chooves an airloin with cheap fares, like Pan Ham
Go through muddal detectors for sow-curity
Hold hams with each other during take-hoof
Hope for a strong pigtail-wind
Pork their automosqueal in the overnight lot
Root and holler when the plane lands safely.

I always liked these:

Q: What do you get when you cross a pig with a cactus?
A: a PorkerPine.

Farmer: Hey! Who raided my vegetable patch?
Piggy: Beets me!

[Les Toreadors]

OMG @kelani those are hilarious :D

Automosqueal sounds like the product names Japanese like to use. OTOMOsqueal lol!

Airloin and Pan Ham is making me want to have a steak, like right meow :3

[Kelani]

@les-toreadors that entire site linked in my post is nothing but pig puns. :) I don’t know who made it, but somewhere out there, I think you have a twin! Anyway, I don’t enjoy borrowing from others, so I have to contribute something useful to this discussion.

I was reading the older posts about the King Pig + Orange/Blue potions causing the Pig Bang, and I must disagree. The pig + potion combo could not have caused it, and I can prove it.

When the Weeeilkinson Microwaved HamiSwineTripety Probe (aka Weeee-MHP) measured the Sowsmic Microwaved Baconground Radiation, it found PFPA (Pleasant Fried Pork Aroma) concentrations of 0.001ppm (parts-per-million). This unexpected value was well below the PFPA concentration (1000+ ppm) that piggycists calculated would exist following an actual Pig Bang.

Additionally, Weeee-MAP produced high-res images of the Microwaved Baconground that did not contain the visual signature indicative of a Pig Bang event.

Actual Baconground

Expected Pig Bang Baconground

Given this startling evidence, NASA swinentists have theorized the Pig/Potion combo most likely caused one of the following astronomical phenomena:

1. The supermeowssive black hole at the center of the Hogpile Galaxy. This is notable, because of a bizarre 2.196MhZ squeal emanating from the galaxy center that interferes with Ham Radio users in Porkistan, Swinehili and Hog Kong.
2. The Oinkey-2 Quasar, located 10kly (kilo-light-years) from Earth, in the Piggysus Consqueallation.
3. The D1r-T Piglé binary star system, which features green giants Porkyon A and Porkyon B, locked in a tight, ellipigical orbit.

edit: OTOMO-squeal almost made me fall over. lol! I love it :)

[Justadoo444]

Here’s a funny thought:

If a meal of Bacon and Eggs contained green bacon that was STILL ALIVE BACON, what would the green pig(s) think? Or their bacon qualities or the Eggs?

Or, place a Pig Puffer initiative with a caged Bird with a pig in a box. When you hear a squawk and a snap, open it. You will either find a puffed pig or 5,000 points.

This means? Schrodinger’s Pig (Alt Version).

[Les Toreadors]

Why does the Corporal Pig always win the Annual Hunger Games?

Ans:

Everybody was rooting for him!

—

Why are teacup pigs so popular these days?

Ans:

They Keep Calm and Drink Tea even as Angry Birds demolish their houses.

[Jkhab69]

why are so many pigs moving south? they want to live in Birmingham

[Les Toreadors]

@jkhab69

SoutHAMpton works too!

[Jkhab69]

@les-toreadors that’s a good one!

[Les Toreadors]

What’s the industry standard for pigs?

HAMilton Standard of course!

[Justadoo444]

I literally just got @james1562 ‘s Mahagony joke. Turns out I wasn’t saying it right (Mine: Mah-Hah-goh-nee).

What place do pigs and grapes have in common?
Swineries.

[Kelani]

Other favorite Porcine travel destinations that actually exist.

Hög (towns in Sweden, Ethiopia and Germany)
Hogg, Texas (USA)
Pig, Kentucky (USA)
Pigge, Italy
Pigolet, Romania
Hamburg, Germany
Porco, Bolivia
Swine, UK

…and a few that don’t exist:

Pig City
Hogsnia and Herzegovina
Porkugal
Piggystan
Pork Chop Hill

[Jkhab69]

@kelani. GROAN!!!!! SOOOO BAD! I’ll have to think of some that are worse, for your pun-ishment.