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The Bloated Pig - A Place for Weary Flingers Page 3052
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153786 Comments
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Man the pages are skipping by these days. It's all down to your chit-chat @catsnbirds.
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Just remember, it's quantity not quality that counts. Here's my earworm of the day...
https://youtu.be/YvHZToOUG2U -
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Does that make the puppy count 14-13 to you @briann? Think we were level last time I looked.
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Certainly better than the eliminator. Livingston's dismissal was definitely the turning point just when he was in 'beast mode'. Did you see his ton against Pakistan? Let him open for the test team. He might be out for 30 off 15 balls but that's better than current incumbents. Though Burns is doing OK.
As for the puppy count not sure, you may be right. -
Ah, @briann , I have spent years enjoying the lurkers lounge set up. Comfort, semi-privacy, quick access to the BP refreshments…AND…the security system that shows all of the activities. Birds in the aviary, rats in the walls, visitors from around the world.
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@captrec is def a serial killer, not a lovely man who works with children and raises money for charity. Just ask him how he tried to kill his wife by pushing her off a swing!
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Rats in the walls @catsnbirds. Who's in charge of maintenance down there?
Think he's too busy planning his next murder @hunnybunny. Death by swing eh? Definitely getting a Dexter vibe here. -
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Oh @twiggy, go to bed. Talking of rats in the walls, I once had a stimulating experience in an old house I used to rent when I was young. As I poured out my breakfast cereal I heard a scrabbling noise. Something was in the box fighting against the flow of the flakes to avoid being tipped out into the bowl. It was a mouse. I left it in the box and liberated it on the way to work in a small bit of woodland, along with the rest of the cereal for a snack.
This is the house that once had a plague of flying ants that were so bad I could literally just hoover them straight out of the air.
Happy days. -
I remember back in the day cereal companies used to put a toy in with the food. Are you sure it wasn't Nesquik trying to get one over on it's rivals?
Anyways don't mention flying ants to my mum and dad they get plagued with them every summer. The ant man is less than useless. "Ooh I don't know where they're coming from." - - ZAP - - (It isn't Paul Rudd BTW, he's actually quite useful). Thankfully they're getting a move soon. My parents that is. Think the ants are staying.
So did you empty the ants out in the woods along with a sugary snack? -
Nice to have a theme day isn't it? Staying on topic saw some crazy rabbit behaviour today(no, not the usual offender). It was just running up and down the middle of a country lane. I know when they're threatened by aerial predators they zigzag and head for the nearest field. I managed to avoid it and it wasn't limping or anything.
Maybe our resident bunny sychologist can shed some light on this strangeness. Now if you don't mind I have to nip out for a silent P. -
Do you craft these posts for months in advance?
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Yes @desperatedan. I had a premonition 2 months ago that you would mention a mouse in a cereal box and flying ants in the same post. The rest was easy, though a mad rabbit turning up today was a Brucey bonus.
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@BrianN Yes indeed, and we went up there, it’s fantastic. Just as you see it here:
"Final problem" in 4 parts:
https://youtu.be/CmDS8IX-LBc
https://youtu.be/4c1pxZ66UmE
https://youtu.be/Y_qDuvJeLcI
https://youtu.be/6V9ApSbilwM
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Ah @catsnbirds Sherlock
We saw Jeremy Brett in nearly last stage performance of Sherlock before he died
And Thursday we saw another Sherlock, Benedict Cumberbact (I gave it my best shot, only he knows how to spell it) at the cinema! The Courier, excellent film
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And I thought I was mad
You lot are off the scale
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An Englishman walks into an American Walmart
“I would like to buy a Kinder Egg for my four year old daughter”
“Sorry, Kinder Eggs are banned in the US, as they contain toys that the child could choke on, if you are not a lovely and careful parent”
Four year old burst into tears
“OK, I’ll take two MP5 machine guns and 5000 rounds of ammo instead “ -
Wayhey, two mad rabbits in one day. What are the chances? You got the Benedict bit right anyway. He is such a brilliant actor, have you seen him in anything duff, or even mediocre? I don't think I have.
Patrick Melrose was superb, really tough watch because of the subject matter but BC was terrific in it. -
Ah, Cumberbatch. My current favorite actor. Love him in anything, but really a fan of his Sherlock.
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Happy Birthday @Jlz666
Pictures don't work anymore, so this is the best i can do
https://angrybir.de/2LQUxLD -
But a drug fiend.
Holmes, not Kumberbach. -
A teacher is addressing her class
“Tomorrow is the most important exam of your life. You must turn up. The only acceptable excuses are debilitating illness or the death of a close family member”
A cheeky lad chimes in “Supposing I had complete sexual fatigue?”
She replies “You could try writing with the other hand...” -
Back on form @hunnybunny.
Reminds me of Buster Gonad and his unfeasibly large testicles in Viz @brianN. Enormous due to being zapped by a cosmic ray so he had to transport them in a wheelbarrow. Has a mention in the British Medical Journal apparently. -
I'm just not going to explain this @kathy.
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Hey @hunnybunny, I don't get your joke. Could you explain it in detail? (titter).
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There's a lot about Viz I didn't know or had forgotten. Didn't even know it was still going. For a while it seems they had a strip about Elton John as a Del Boy type always looking for dodgy schemes to make money on the fly. Whether this goes back to the time when he was declared bankrupt and had to auction his clothes etc. I don't know.
But there was an episode where he nicked someone's window cleaning round but ended up accused of being a peeping Tom and got a kicking from the locals.
Serves Him right I say. -
Speaking of Buster Gonad, I remember seeing a documentary about a man with 10 st testicles. (By that I mean they weighed 10 stone, not that he had 10 testicles made of stone--just wanted to clear that up). Wonder if he was zapped by a cosmic ray? Doesn't sound very cosmic does it? Now if it had zapped his willy!?
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I'm sure @hunnybunny has a suitable joke...
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I loved Black Bag – "The faithful border bin liner". A sentient black bin liner which lives the exciting life of a sheepdog. In one episode Black Bag rescues Brotherhood of Man from a well. I could go on and on. I think the psyche of the Bloated Pig is well aligned with that of Viz, off the wall and mad.
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If I just reach out
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I can get the fez.
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