The Bloated Pig - A Place for Weary Flingers Page 3044
  • 153912 Comments
  • Think Italy have a great chance in one of those finals.
  • See they have 'mystic meerkats' predicting an England win in the Euro final. Not a chance. Paul Octopus has spoken.
  • Lol @BrianN I’m sure someone will beat my score.

    I’m rooting for Italy too in tennis. He’s a good player, but don’t know if he can pull it off.

    Despite my Italian hubby, don’t think I can cheer for Italy in the Euro final. My background is very English so I think I have to cheer for them.
  • Cowboy goes into a German car showroom and says "Audi".
  • Paul Octopus says your score is safe @karen68.
  • Hi @karen68. Without wanting to be too nosy, what do you mean by saying that your background is very English? Were you born over here?
  • I watched the 1982 World Cup final between Italy and West Germany whilst staying with the parents of a friend in Wales. It was a bit awkward because I wanted Italy to win but the father was actually German being a POW in the war who had stayed and ended up marrying a Welsh girl. And Italy won...
  • @twiggy has just made her selection. She has chosen England to win. I have every faith in a small furry animal that is colour blind.
  • OOOH, Drinks all round. 10000 points and Pig Leader!
  • Me to on Tennis!
  • "As good as this bar is," said the Scotsman, "I still prefer the pubs back home.
    In Glasgow there's a wee place called McTavish's. The landlord goes out of his way for the locals. When you buy four drinks, he'll buy the fifth."
    Well Angus," said the Englishman, "At my local in London , the Red Lion, the barman will buy your third drink after you buy the first two."
    Ahhh dat's nothin'," said Paddy Sheehan, the Irishman. "Back home in me favourite pub in Galway, the moment you set foot in the place they'll buy you a drink, then another, all the drinks you like, actually.
    Then, when you've had enough drinks they'll take you upstairs and see dat you get sex, all on the house!"
    The Englishman and Scotsman were suspicious of the claims.
    Did this actually happen to you?"
    Not meself personally, no,” admitted the Irishman, "but it did happen to me sister quite a few times"........
  • Very sexist, very funny.
  • See England's 3rd XI beat Pakistan again. They should just put these guys into the test team.
  • I once put superglue on Eric Bristow's darts. Years later he asked me why I'd done it. I said "You just wouldn't let it go would you?"
  • @desperate-dan my Dad was born there, in Kent. And my Mum’s ancestry is all English & Scottish.
    We moved to London for a couple of years when I was young so I’ve lived there too, briefly.
  • Sounds like @brianN and @ixan57 are going to claim you as one of their own.
  • Hey Folks! Lol @HunnyBunny keep the jokes coming, you have some good ones!
    I see @BrianN seems to be getting comfy with the Crown!
    Had tablet trouble yesterday, seems fine now, hope I didn't miss to much?
  • Keep taking the tablets @kathy. Here's one for ya.
    I found myself chopping carrots with the Grim Reaper. I was dicing with death.
  • England have fallen into the same trap as Italy when they went a goal up against Spain, too defensive. They need to grow a pear...er I mean a pair.
  • Not pelanties again.
  • If England had been a little braver in extra time they would have won. I am now retiring Paul Octopus with a 100% record. He was never my favourite Bond villain anyway that has to be Asher.. I mean Blofield. Dang it I always get those two mixed up.
  • Speaking of Asher, I have to admit to taking a sadistic pleasure in watching him bang his head off a brick wall and coming up just short of a puppy. (Mua ha ha, aren't I evil?)
    OB could I have a glass of schadenfreude please?
  • Penalty kicks are a terrible way to decide a match.
    At least my hubby is happy.
  • @twiggy also retired as predictor dog.
  • @BrianN lol Schadenfreude goes down a treat, I’ll join you *clink*
  • Well I didn’t trace my family tree
    I announced on Facebook “I won three million on the lottery”
    They all found me
  • Lol @HunnyBunny that's probably the quickest way to find long lost relatives ;)
  • Just noticed @kathy that August 5th is your ABN tenth birthday.
  • Yay @tompuss, the stray cat has returned. How r u and where have been? Yeah I know, if you told me you'd have to kill me. Still working for MI6 then?
  • Thanks for the banner @kathy!

    Hey @Brian_N Often difficulties getting on to Nest. Must be my arthritis :=)

    A little Schadenfreude here, by the USA’s very own singing economist:

    https://youtu.be/tDMA62Dq0GA



  • And, a departure from the economy:

    https://youtu.be/gzodB0Sp6ZI

    How am I? Bad knees, bad eyes and general angst.
    Keep my spirits up with "I’m sorry I haven’t a clue" on YT!
    That’ll mean nothing to non-Brits!
  • Oh yes, enjoyed that this week. "I wish to complain about the rocket I bought from the vegetable aisle. It went off before I could eat it".
  • Stop Press. i before e except after c disproved by science.
  • Old age comes at the wrong time. And just when you have a grip on general angst, major disaster sneaks in.
    Economic bluegrass! Who knew.
  • A Novice walks into the Nunnery
    Mother Superior asks “Seeing as you are here, you must believe in God. What gift do have to exalt him?”
    “I play the piano and and sing hymns, to exalt My God”
    Mother Superior takes the novice into the Chapel
    The novice cries “ The piano is in the wrong place, it should be over there”
    Mother Superior looks at her dimly, “The piano has always been there, that is where God wanted it to be”
    The Novice moved the piano one inch every month, after thirty years, the piano is where she wanted it, and is now Mother Superior
  • Hey guys and gals :D
    @Tompuss your very welcome, I'm sorry we can't celebrate like we used to, but maybe change will enable us to, idk.
    @Hunnybunyy gotta admit I'm gonna have to let that one sink in!
    @DesperateDan How did you figure out that I've been in the Nest for 10 years? We should have a way to know that¿
  • @kathy Go to your profile page. Just to the right of your avatar photo is a list that includes the date you joined the nest.
  • Anyone know when the nest was built? The earliest joining date I have seen is April 2011. I was October 2012. January 2019 @brianN? That just makes you a chick. Can you actually fly? We can give you a ladder to get down.
  • @hunnybunny, still working out your last story. Have I missed something?
  • I had to quit my last job at the watch factory. The man opposite kept making faces.
  • @DesperateDan August 2nd 2010
  • Long time since anyone mistook me for a chick.

    You must be raiding the same joke book as me @desperatedan. 3 funny jokes in a row, you've broken your record by 3.
  • This is a true story. Getting ready for work this morning when Batman came at me with a tea cup. As he swung at me he shouted "T'Pau!"
    I said "Don't you mean 'Kapow! '?"
    He said:"No, I've got China in my hand."
  • "It's all gone quiet over there!"
  • Apparently Lurkers International are taking on new members, think I'll join.
  • Hey @karen68, I have a couple of questions for you, oh owltastic one. Someone gave me a couple of AB XBox games, are scores permissable on the Nest? Also I have an older v of ABO on PC but it's such a crappy old laptop that the print screen feature doesn't work properly. It seems to photograph the homepage rather than the game itself. Is it allowable to photograph the high score with another device and use that as evidence? It amounts to the same thing as long as it's a clear picture.
  • PS if anyone knows about how a pc works it's more than likely I'm doing something wrong. Fire away with any suggestions. (I'll probably regret saying that.)
  • Hey @kathy, that was all a bit cryptic:"... sorry we can't celebrate like we used to maybe change will enable it..."
    Explain yourself!
  • @BrianN yes you can photograph the tally screen with another device & submit that as long as it’s clear. I’ve done that a few times.
    As for the Xbox - I don’t know. Is everything about the levels the same as other platforms & play the same? Should ask @sweetp about that one.
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