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Seniors on Angry Birds Nest Page 17
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1086 Comments
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@mvnla2 I wanted to add to your comment about splitting lanes/traffic. We do split traffic/lanes, but only when traffic is at or near gridlock. Traveling at a rate of >25mph gives us ample time to react if the need arises. I agree about those stupid daredevil types that speed through, splitting lanes and weaving between cars. They are on a suicide mission IMO. That's another good reason why having loud pipes alerts drivers of being nearby. Often times, we'll see cars moving over to give us more room to pass because they can hear us coming.
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Ahhahahahaha!! Love the golf joke @mumsie! Speaking of which, I gotta get my clubs out and dust them off. It was too hot during the summer, but now that we have beautiful weather it's time to hit the driving range.
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Well, BBL. Gotta help hubby in the garage. :D
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Ah yes the ages long issue on splitting lanes.
Most drivers will state that splitting lanes 'is dangerous' but in actual fact lane splitting need not be dangerous. LS is a survival skill and allows a m/cycle rider to adapt to traffic flow while remaining visible to drivers, and most importantly keeps the rider out of danger.
A non lane splitting rider is at a greater risk of getting into accident than a rider who lanesplits in a responsible manner and is alert. Lanesplitting is not about being Luke Skywalker in the Death Star trench run. Good riders plan ahead and ensure they can pass safely between lanes and make their intentions quite clear with signals or 'body language'. Good riders are easy to predict and can help, not hinder traffic flow.
As part of road safety measures in my old m/c club I tend to eliminate the gap between "cagers" and "bikers" by telling people not to discriminate between vehicle type and to help drivers who require assistance with changing lanes.
Simple acts of courtesy, like coordinating lane changes with commercial drivers, or having the good sense not to cut off a car trying to change lanes, goes a long way to easing the 'bad' public image of bikers. The fun thing is motorcyclists tend to be a gregarious bunch, so the word spread fasts by 'body language'. People notice who is on the bike doing these things, they tend to remember and return the favor.
Also ditto for smartly gearing up. There's no need to look like a Power Ranger but sensible safety clothing and light armor plus professional safety driver conduct means people don't tend to start telling their kids "motorcycles are dangerous" whenever I pass by. -
@Les Toreadors -- As I said, it sounded like most of the motorcycle riders who were in the discussion were very responsible. I have no objection to lane-splitting in general, and certainly not to the idea of bicycle riders, it's just the large number of irresponsible ones in LA that I object to. I also have even more problems with irresponsible car drivers, who outnumber the other categories by a huge amount.
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@mvnla2 - no offense intended.
The local road conditions here are nothing good at all (Asian rush hour? driver courtesy? non existent! lol!) but what I do is reward the 1-2% of people who actually know how to drive :)
That's the right way to grow that responsible minority anyway, via positive reinforcement. No point advertising bad behavior, it only breeds fear and contempt and indirectly encourages the young to follow suit.
I guess I am an optimist lol. In any case I quit riding some time ago. When I next have fun tinkering with old wheeled vehicles is when I migrate out of here and into a nice friendly Muslim environment just across the border :) -
@SweetP -- I missed your comment; don't know why. I don't object to loud pipes. Hadn't considered that they might save lives (I mean, most people can fairly hear them over their car stereo). I will now appreciate them, because I REALLY don't want to hit anyone on a motorcycle (or bicycle). So what would the equivalent of loud pipes be for a bicycle?
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@mvnla2 - A horn that goes "AAAH-OOOO-GAAAHHH!" I don't have a bicycle, so I'm just guessing. LOL
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@SweetP @mvnla2 - here the fun things to put on a bicycle are either
- The bell. Effective at clearing pedestrians due to its high frequency ring.
- Or for an old school touch, that old squeeze horn that goes be-pop be-pop. Extremely loud ones used by salvage collectors are awesome :D
I have used that on my motorcycle before. People get amused and let me pass lol.
I don't know what the international term for this is, but searching for 'karang guni horn' on google gives you a picture of this thing. -
LMAO @LesToreadors! Those would be perfect, and very annoying here!
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A young man's grandmother was turning 80 and had moved into a new condo. He wanted to drop by, see her new place, and wish her happy birthday. He called her and she instructed him as follows: "Park in front of the building and come to the main door. You'll see a big panel on the right. With your elbow, push button 115. I'll hit the buzzer and I'll let you in. Walk inside and turn right for the elevator. Get in, and with your elbow press number 115. Walk out of the elevator and turn left. Come down the hall to 115 and ring my doorbell with your elbow."
"Grandmother," he says. "That's easy enough, but why the heck am I pushing all these buttons with my elbow?"
"What?" she replies. "You're coming empty handed?" -
lol! @Mumsie
Quite a lot of detail can be gleaned from that short story.
1) Grandma's apartment has cool elder-friendly security systems, which have really big buttons that you could indeed hit with your elbow.
2) Security system is based on a real world security system where the resident is in manual control of granting access to the elevator. No consent, elevator doesn't go up. Quite a high end system, so maybe a pricier or very new condominium.
Cos you know 'normal' condos with security systems mainly use access cards to lift lobby. Rigging the elevator controls to individual units demands a much more complex and expensive system.
3) From the way the story is written it has some gender stereotyping - I think everyone is aware that men and women due to different musculo-skeletal characteristics, may perform certain actions differently. But in direct communications different cultures may pick up different cues.
Boys and girls carry loads differently and so for an elder person pushing huge buttons with her elbow while her hands are full could be quite normal. Of course the boy doesn't carry a handbag or holds his purses in-hand while walking and may not ever think of the need to use an elbow in such a fashion.
4) In most cultures where the accepted code of conduct is to respect senior citizens, the junior would also not pick on the "hit stuff with elbow" thing but just hear grandma out and approach the task more strategically.
5) (Foreman Pig has bored everyone to death so the analysis stops here...) :D -
????? @les toreadors - I never know whether to take your comments seriously but in case you are ..... I think the point of the 'joke' is that Grandma is assuming he is bringing a very large gift to her for her birthday and therefore is giving him the instructions that he will need to get to her apartment as he will not be able to press the buttons with his fingers because they will be holding on to the, extremely large, present she is expecting!
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OK - I don't mind admitting that I'm over 60, still feel like a teenager inside, I keep up to date with all the latest music etc and play AB every day with loads of friends of all ages :)
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I am actually crying at the above message!!! Oh @mumsie42 I could just picture your face when reading @lestoreadors reply! Lmao! Wow that's just what the doctor ordered!
Hi @campogirl! I'm pretty sure I was more sensible when I was a teenager but I'm more than happy to be ageing disgracefully ;)
@sweetP yes it was funny! I think it got lost in the chatter. I had to look up and see what you meant! -
Yes - I was definitely more sensible when younger, the older I get, the less I care about what others think of me! (Forgot to say, I regularly beat my younger friends)
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LOL @mumsie! It isn't joke that you told but true. My mum often jokes that way telling us to ring door bell with noses. I understand she is kidding but that was old time family joke and I know it all my life.
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LOL @mumsie & others responses are hilarious!
ps. Foreman pig always overanalyzes things to the Nth degree and is not to be taken seriously. The way I find humor in things is to analyze them to death! -
Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaaa a "that would be my wife" hahahahahaha ha That's a great one SweetP! Hey, do you think you could give your numpty sis a lesson on how to post photos?
Mumsie, the elbow joke is a funny one too, thanks :D
Les Toreadors, what planet do you hail from? -
Hey what planet is Piggy Island from?
*refers to latest pigineering space artwork for geographical reference*
We come in peace from the world of Pork-land. Surrender your eggs and standby for assimilation into bacon culture :D -
*Bird addict runs in circles hysterically crying* Awk! Awk! Run everyone! We're being invaded!
Never! I will never surrender my eggs. And the only way any bacon is going to get assimilated is on a plate! -
I never use ABN except for walkthroughs but today I'm poking around to see if there is an news of a Halloween 2013 Seasons update. I've completed all Seasons levels 3 stars and GEs (all years) and thought it was time for the annual Seasons update. I'm 63.
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btw, I found that I hadn't realized (must be getting old) is that the forum right page arrow only advances you a page and doesn't take you to the last page (DOH!). Sorry. I found my Seasons answer and apparently there won't be one. How disappointing.
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@jerryp -- Welcome to ABN and the seniors' forum. Hope to see you more around the nest! Stop by the Bloated Pig Forum for some refreshments and company.
There is a post about the AB Friends Halloween update. You might look for it on the Monitor Chatter page.
Perhaps you discovered that there is a forum on the latest news and rumors, which is more likely to have answers to your questions about updates. -
You think you're getting old @jerryp - I just popped in to see if anyone liked the joke I posted yesterday and it's not here! Dashed around the nest to see if I posted it elsewhere and am baffled as to what I did with it! Anyway better late than never!
Oh @les toreadors - it's a joke - yes based on stereotypes which may or may not have any basis in reality!
A woman entered her kitchen and found her boyfriend waving a fly swatter. "What in heaven's name are you up to?" she asked.
"Killing flies," he said.
"Oh. Get any?"
"Yep, two males, three females," he answered.
"Oh come on! How do you tell them apart?"
"Two were on a beer can, three were on the phone."
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There is a re-tweet by Peter Vesterbacka of a photo of someone playing AB on a smart board (basically a 50 inch touchpad and screen combined). So now we know how @Rat manages those high scores with his fat fingers. Wonder if I can get one for Christmas?
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If Santa says yes please let him know there's another hopeful sitting in a rocking chair in the BP! OB says he'll fit a bracket for me so I can tuck it away when I'm not there!
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1. Is it good if
a vacuum really sucks?
2. Why is the third hand
on the watch
called the second hand?
3. If a word is misspelled
in the dictionary,
how would we ever know?
4. If Webster wrote the first dictionary,
where did he find the words?
5. Why do we say something is out of whack?
What is a whack?
6. Why does "slow down" and
"slow up" mean the same thing?
7. Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance"
mean the same thing?
8. Why do "tug" boats push their barges?
9. Why do we sing
"Take me out to the ball game"
when we are already there?
10. Why are they called " stands"
when they are made for sitting?
11. Why is it called "after dark"
when it really is "after light"?
12.. Doesn't "expecting the unexpected"
make the unexpected expected?
13.. Why are a "wise man" and
a "wise guy" opposites?
14. Why do "overlook" and "oversee"
mean opposite things?
15. Why is "phonics"
not spelled
the way it sounds?
16. If work is so terrific,
why do they have to pay you to do it?
17.. If all the world is a stage,
where is the audience sitting?
18. If love is blind,
why is lingerie so popular?
19. If you are cross-eyed
and have dyslexia,
can you read all right?
20. Why is bra singular
and panties plural?
21.. Why do you press harder
on the buttons of a remote control
when you know the batteries are dead?
22. Why do we put suits in garment bags
and garments in a suitcase?
23. How come abbreviated
is such a long word?
24. Why do we wash bath towels?
Aren't we clean when we use them?
25.. Why doesn't glue
stick to the inside of the bottle?
26. Why do they call it a TV set
when you only have one?
27. Christmas
- What other time of the year
do you sit in front of a dead tree
and eat candy out of your socks?
28. Why do we drive on a parkway
and park on a driveway?
I dunno, why do we?
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@kimmiecv - love it! Love 23!
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Love it @KimmieCV
I got one to add
Why do do they call the humorous bone "the 'funny bone'?
-It's surely NOT funny when you bump it? -
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A man asked his wife, "What would you most like for your birthday?"
She said, "I'd love to be ten again."
On the morning of her birthday, he got her up bright and early and they went to a theme park.
He put her on every ride in the park - the Death Slide, The Screaming Loop, the Wall of Fear.
She had a go on every ride there was.
She staggered out of the theme park five hours later, her head reeling and her stomach turning.
Then the were off to a movie theater where they ate popcorn and sweets and drank Cola.
At last she staggered home with her husband and collapsed into bed.
Her husband leaned over and asked, "Well, dear, what was it like being ten again?"
One eye opened and she groaned, "Actually, honey, I meant dress size!"
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Shame on you @mvnla2. Starting rumors that I play on a 50 inch touchpad and screen combination. What'd you call it? A smart board? I'm a poor sighted, fat left thumb playing, iPad user, through and through. A smart board...ha ha ha. I laugh in your general direction.
I'm also laughing in @mumsie's direction. Good one. Come on @mumsie. You can tell us. You have a great big joke book, don't you? Or at least a small joke writing staff? -
@rat - I just like making people smile - Smile a while and while you smile another smiles and soon there's miles and miles of smiles and life's worth while because you smile!
While enjoying an early morning breakfast in a northern Arizona cafe,
four elderly ranchers were discussing everything from cattle, horses,
and weather, to how things used to be in the "good old days."
Eventually the conversation moved on to their spouses. One gentleman
turned to the fellow on his right and asked, "Roy, aren't you and your
bride celebrating your fiftieth wedding anniversary soon?"
"Yup, we sure are," Roy replied.
"Well, are you gonna do anything special to celebrate?" another man asked.
The old gentleman pondered this for a moment, then replied,
"For our twenty-fifth anniversary, I took Bea to Tucson.
Maybe for our fiftieth, I'll go down there and get her."
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Hee hee @Mumsie I'll try one; )
An exhausted looking blonde dragged herself in to the doctor’s office.
“Doctor, there are dogs all over my neighborhood. They bark all day and all night, and I can’t get a wink of sleep.”
“I have good news for you,” the doctor answered, rummaging through a drawer full of sample medications. “Here are some new sleeping pills that work like a dream. A few of these and your trouble will be over.”
“Great,” the blonde answered, “I’ll try anything. Let’s give it a shot.”
A few weeks later the blonde returned, looking worse than ever.
“Doc, your plan is no good. I’m more tired than before!”
“I don’t understand how that could be”, said the doctor, shaking his head. “Those are the strongest pills on the market!”
“That may be true,” answered the blonde wearily, “but I’m still up all night chasing those dogs and when I finally catch one it’s hard getting him to swallow the pill!” -
Ha ha ha! Good one @Kathy!
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Thanks @Mumsie here's another no offense to any blondes I am blonde myself hee hee
On the first day of training for parachute jumping, a blonde listened intently to the instructor. He told them to start preparing for landing when they are at 300 feet.
The blonde asked, “How am I supposed to know when I’m at 300 feet?”
“That’s a good question. When you get to 300 feet, you can recognize the faces of people on the ground.”
After pondering his answer, she asked, “What happens if there’s no one there I know?” -
"Oh God," sighed the wife one morning, "I'm convinced my mind is almost completely gone!"
Her husband looked up from the newspaper and commented, "I'm not surprised: You've been giving me a piece of it every day for thirty years!" -
Wife "Darling if I die I want you to marry again"
Husband "good grief don't talk like that I'd never find anyone like you"
W "no I insist you marry again"
H "OK"
W "would you bring her here to this house to live?"
H "well yes, it's a lovely house"
W "would you let her wear my clothes?"
H "well yes, those clothes have cost me a fortune, if you can't wear them it makes sense that she should"
W "would you let her drive my car?"
H "yes it's only 2 years old"
W "would you let her use my golf clubs?"
H "no - she's left handed"
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A mature woman approached a man sitting on a park bench.
Holding out her clenched fist, she said "I'll go to bed with you if you can guess what I have in my hand."
The man looked her over and then said "An elephant."
"Close enough" she replied. -
Is anyone 65 or older?
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@Wyhewop -- Welcome to the seniors' forum! You are welcome to visit and enjoy the jokes even if you are not a senior. There are lots of seniors on ABN that are over 65. Most of us consider those under 65 to be in the prime of life. I think the oldest person who has stated their age is over 80, but you would need to read all the comments.
BTW if you are under 21, PLEASE DO NOT STATE YOUR AGE HERE OR ELSEWHERE ON ABN.
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87 here
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I thought I was going to be the oldest, but you have me beat by a few. I am only 66.
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This discussion has been closed. Please check the new forum.
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